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Domination
The assumed art of leading the dance in an erotic or sensual interaction, with the clear and enthusiastic agreement of the partners. "Leading" does not mean "imposing": it is setting the framework, deciding the rhythm, setting instructions — in short, orchestrating the scene so that everyone finds their pleasure. In the acronym BDSM, it's the "D" for Domination/Submission (D/s): a game of consensual power exchanges, not a takeover in everyday life (unless you have decided to... and signed with a wink).
Domination is sensual leadership. The DOM sets the tempo, and controls the atmosphere, the posture, the intensity, often with words (calm, firm, reassuring) and a meticulous attention to the reactions. The key is not the whip or handcuffs, but communication: a voice that guides, a look that checks, a hand that adjusts. Accessories can help, but the most effective authority is the one that gives confidence.
The dominant person is called Dom, Domme or Top; the person who receives domination, Sub or Bottom. Many are "switched": dominant one day, submissive the next, depending on mood and partner. We can imagine rituals (postures, rules of politeness, small challenges) that set up the dynamic. There is nothing mandatory.
Consent is mandatory. Without enthusiastic yes, there is no game. We talk to each other beforehand ("brief") to define desires, limits, warning words. Common security models: SSC (Healthy, Safe, Consented) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). The traffic light safewords are practical: green = continuous, yellow = slowed down/adjusted, red = stop.
What a good dom does, He/she observes, listens, doses. He/she can read a breath, a shiver, a micro-tension of the shoulder. He/she gives clear instructions ("slower", "hands there") and creates a space where the other can let loose safely. Mature domination is not a contest of egos: it is a high-end service rendered to the common scene.
No, dominating does not require being "tough" all the time. You can be gentle and inflexible at the same time — velvet on velvet glove, but glove nonetheless. No, it's not reserved for a particular genus or morphology. No, it's not necessarily "hard": a simple "you stay there and you look at me" can be of a formidable power. And no, domination never excuses unnegotiated pain: if it goes beyond the bounds, we get out of the game.
It is possible to establish a small instruction manual for domination;
1) Before: discuss expectations, limits, health, warning words; agree on an entrance ritual ("when I say X, we start").
2) During: guide the breathing, check regularly ("are you okay?", "from 1 to 10?"), vary tempo and intensity, celebrate obedience as a shared victory.
3) After: thank, moisturize, reassure, note what was liked, what was not so good. We improve together.
Domination can be practiced by amateur couples but it can also be done by BDSM professionals.
Sexual domination is present in many couples. Dominance is very attractive because we let ourselves go or, on the contrary, we control the other person according to his pleasure, and we make sure that the pleasure is shared so that the experience is a real pleasure. Being subject to the will of a dominatrix or making the other her slave approaches power games. And power is sexy and it makes you wet your panties or get hard hard. Imagine spanking a big ass or pinching nipples and seeing the other writhe with pleasure!
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