(Spoiler: not all yours, but you’ve got your chances)
A mischievous deciphering of women’s thoughts on the beach… What are women really thinking as they lie on their towels? How do you approach them without being heavy-handed? A deciphering of fantasy, reality and summer seduction.
photo Nappy
☀️ The male fantasy: “She saw me“.
On the warm sand, between sun cream and mojito, a man observes. There she is. In a two-piece swimsuit. Tanned legs. Sunglasses. Book in hand. Detached air. He wonders: ” What’s she thinking?”
Maybe she’s waiting for a guy like him? Maybe she’s spotted him? Maybe she’s already imagining him inviting her for a drink, or better still, a swim.
Calm down, James Bond. Reality is often less romanticized than that. But more interesting too.
💭 The female brain by the sea: deep-sea diving
Let’s get right to it. Here are 10 realistic thoughts a woman might have on the beach… And spoiler: you, dude sneaking a peek at her, only appear in 2 or 3 cases max.
1. “Does this bathing suit make my ass look fat?”
Yes, even the most confident think about it. The beach is a social mirror. Exposed, compared, scrutinized. She doubts. Even slightly.
And given that almostone woman in two (46%)* has already given up wearing certain outfits on the beach, we understand that the simple choice of swimsuit is far from trivial.
According to an OpinionWay study for Selectour, 90% of women under 35 admit to spending most of their time on the beach comparing their looks to those of other women. The flat belly of the tall blonde in the water, the bountiful buttocks of the pin-up in the red swimsuit… Yes, the grass is always greener elsewhere! In fact, half of all women under 35 consider themselves less attractive than their towel-mates.
Fortunately, with age comes serenity: after 35, only 70% make such comparisons.
And what about men? Do they scrupulously study their neighbors’ abs? Not at all! 88% of them admit to preferring to focus on the looks of holidaymakers. Only one man in three admits to comparing himself to others on the beach, without feeling too self-conscious about it. Two-thirds of them don’t blush at the sight of the beach playboys.
2. “I hope I got the cream right on my back…”
(Spoiler: she didn’t). And that, perhaps, is your only real moment ofcredibleentry. If she’s reluctant to ask for help, that’s your chance. But only if you feel the timing.
3. “Is it just me, or has he been checking me out for the last 10 minutes?”
And then there are two options:
- She feels flattered.
- She puts you straight in the “bof relou” category.
And let’s be honest: 49%* of women say they’ve been sexually harassed at the beach, and 10%* this year alone. So even “harmless” observation is a minefield.
4. “Why do guys still wear such long swim shorts?”
A mystery of men’s fashion. She observes, she judges a little. Not maliciously, but… she judges.
5. “Are we really going to go eat that 18-buck beach pizza?”
Yes, she’s hungry. And sometimes that’s more important than you.
6. “I wonder what he thinks of me…”
If there was eye contact. If there was a smile. If you sent him a real relaxed vibe. She might also be wondering. And that’s when you become a character in her inner narrative.
7. “I hope he’ll come and talk to me, but not like a heavy.”
Translation: no drunken flirting at the rosé aperitif. If you come, come with humor, a sincere question or a real situation to share.
8. “Oh no, he’s talking with his buddy. Actually it was nothing.”
There’s nothing like a brief interaction with another girl to provoke a mild (and positive) feeling of jealousy. Yes, sometimes it’s an attention-getter.
9. “I’m fine here. I don’t want to be bothered.”
And that’s something to be honored.
All the more so as almostone woman in two refuses to go to the beach alone, or to bathe as she wishes, simply for fear of being approached or judged. For many, relaxation becomes a pressurized space.
10 “Do I have time for a nap before he comes back?”
Because sometimes you’ve approached her before, and youhaven‘t been so bad. And now she’s waiting for you. In “remember me” mode.
🤿 How to approach (without being a bikini stalker)
If you want to go from “creepy guy in dark glasses” to ” cool summer date”, here are a few simple rules:
✔️ Context, always
You can’t pick up a girl by decree. It’s insinuated into the right moment. A queue at the snack bar. A nearby swim. A beach volleyball match. Don’t barge in like a watch salesman.
✔️Humoris your sunscreen
A light-hearted quip is better than a teenage punchline. Examples:
- “Did you get a sun pass or do you know a guy at Météo France?”
- “If you read as slowly as I do, we’ve got time for a drink before chapter 5.”
✔️ The body speaks
Your posture, your rhythm, your distance. If you sense she’s backing away (even with the slightest gesture), STOP. If she raises her voice (with a look, a smile, a question), go.
✔️ Respect, always sexy
Remember: she may be thinking of you… but she’s thinking of herself. And that’s just fine.
Respecting that makes her want to choose you, not run away from you.
Photo Juliano Ferreira
The last word
Women on the beach aren’t mermaids waiting to be seduced. They’re there to tan, relax, think, dream and forget.
But in a context where 65%* of women under 30 say they’ve experienced some form of summer harassment, the way you look, talk and respect them will make all the difference.
And if you play it smart, without pressure, with sincerity… then maybe one of their summer memories will be you.
*Ifop 2023 survey: the survey was conducted among a sample of 1,075 women, representative of the French female population aged 18 and over. The representativeness of the sample was ensured by the quota method (age, profession, marital status) after stratification by region and urban area. Interviews were carried out by self-administered online questionnaire between July 20 and 24, 2023.
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