Just because women in their fifties don’t talk about their sexuality doesn’t mean they don’t have one! Quite the opposite, in fact. Admittedly, it’s easier to open up about sex when you’re young and uninhibited, but their libido isn’t at half-mast.They’re just a little more discreet.

And let’s not forget some important points, such as codes from another era, education, social taboos… All the things that keep 50-year-old women from opening up about sexual details in public. If they feel less free to talk about it, often for fear of other people’s judgment, they’re no less active once the curtains are drawn and the door closed. So I say “stop” to preconceived ideas and set the record straight on a few “truths”.

Imagine if your sex life stopped at 50… Horror, misfortune (some will get the reference).

So let’s not stigmatize our beautiful seniors and inveterate cougars and embrace the good news. Because in reality, these fifty-somethings have a more fulfilling sexuality, appreciating relational quality rather than quantity that leaves them unsatisfied.

A healthy, active sex life

This is the first point. Of course, at 50, we don’t always have the dynamism of our youth, but we’ve been through a lot more. That’s what makes it possible to determine what we want or don’t want, what we seek or don’t seek, what we accept or don’t accept. Women in their 50s have already lived, and for those who are fulfilled, you’ll find that they’re generally in good health. Health is often better, and there are many treatments available to minimize or improve the effects of menopause. In short, today’s 50-year-old women are younger than their mothers were at the same age.

Don’t be afraid of the word “menopause”, but I’m obliged to refer to it when I speak of mature women, as it often plays on sexuality and preconceived ideas.

“Despite this, we often speak of middle age as a second adolescence. A fact recognized by health professionals such as psychologists and psychiatrists. Why is this? Because it’s a good time to be a woman. Often less constrained by her personal and professional life, she can live out her golden years to the full and refocus on herself. And that’s a good thing, since this is often a time of self-doubt, questioning and reappraisal. It’s also a time when they’re rediscovering their bodies, which are still undergoing many changes (and I’m not talking about facelifts or breast implants). Sexual maturation is at its peak, so they take the opportunity to embrace their new freedom, both with their bodies and in their minds.

The menopause minute

I’ve told you, I’m obliged to mention it because every woman will go through it at some point. Why is that? Because when menopause enters the equation, a woman (usually in her fifties) undergoes a number of hormonal changes. The most significant of these is the drop in estrogen levels, the famous hormones that influence sexuality. This drop can lead to intimate dryness, making sex uncomfortable if it isn’t brought along properly. And therefore refusals. And the misinterpretation that a mature woman has less libido. Not true.

The good news is that there are ways of counteracting the menopause. At least, its effects. It is possible to counteract these phenomena by using lubricants or local estrogens. This addresses the physical problem, but you also need to be able to communicate with your partner about the changes in your own body.

It’s also worth remembering that the menopause is associated with a certain freedom for women. No more worries about contraception, no more periods, which can increase … her sexual appetite. Why is this? Because with this mental “load” lifted, the 50-year-old woman can be more uninhibited, less concerned about her appearance, freer and more open-minded. In other words, the opposite of clichés can be achieved. All you need to do is know your body and let yourself go. It’s often misconceptions about menopause that get in the way of a woman’s sexuality.

What does a 50-year-old woman desire? What does she fantasize about?

As I said earlier, a mature woman often tends to explore her desires and fantasies for sexual fulfillment. In all cases, however, there are common threads. Desire may take longer to come, arousal longer to build and lubrication harder to achieve.

So it’s important to find tricks or alternatives to find pleasure. Fancy a spanking? A little lash? Uninhibited romance? New sexual games? New ways to access pleasure? A new erogenous zone? Slow sex? Tantrism? … In short, you’ll have understood that the horizons are wide when it comes to possibilities. In addition to a new approach to sexuality, some women in their fifties take the opportunity to fulfill their fantasies.

What about cougars?

While older men used to be the preferred choice of younger women, times have changed. Women too enjoy the company of younger, more dynamic, more vigorous, more open-minded men. That’s why the cougar “phenomenon” has grown so fast. They, too, crave the freedom of relationships and the pleasure of companionship. Whether it’s just for a moment of pleasure or for a longer period, there’s something for everyone. Our fifty-something will feel a breath of fresh air, and our young man will gain a little more sexual experience. A win-win situation.

Especially as mores evolve and this trend becomes more democratic every day. A 50-year-old woman can couple up with a younger man, regardless of the age difference between them. It even seems like a good idea, because when it comes to sexuality, a 60-year-old woman is more in tune with the desires and performance of a 45-year-old man than a man her own age. Which just goes to show that age doesn’t affect libido – quite the opposite, in fact – and that 50-year-old women are still sexually active.

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