There are generally two types of first dates: those that go like magic – where time flies so fast that the restaurant has to remind you they’re closing – and those that are… well, less harmonious.
Obviously, the first type of initial meeting is ideal, but a less perfect first date doesn’t necessarily mean all hope is lost. In fact, if things go reasonably well, a second one-on-one could be considered, which could potentially turn into something more serious.
But there is a way to ensure that this never happens: asking the wrong questions the first time. Here are twenty questions to avoid at all costs if you want to see the person again…
1 – “You seem nice, so why are you still single?”
There are so many problems with this question. To begin with, it presupposes that there is something wrong with being single. Beyond that, it is entirely possible that a person has not yet met their soulmate, which is why they are not in a relationship. If you are on a date and realize you are sitting across from someone who seems incredible and is still single, do not ask them why. Let’s just be happy!
2 – “Which dating apps are you on?”
What is it really for? As a rule, it is just a session of denying all existing apps and sites. It adds nothing to your first date experience.
3 – “You’re not crazy, are you?”
Followed by something like: “I’ve met a lot of crazy people lately.” While this might seem cute at first glance, it could come across as strange to your date. After all, the person might start wondering why you’re meeting so many crazy people in the first place. It’s better to focus on questions that actually help you get to know what your date is all about.
4 – “Where do you see this relationship going?”
It always makes the person asking it look desperate, stupid, and in a hurry, while annoying or stressing out the person being asked. To be fair, it’s a rather heavy question concerning someone you’ve just met.
5 – “How much did it cost?”
Whether it’s their apartment, their watch, or a luxury handbag, that’s none of your business. It’s completely inappropriate and will make you seem superficial by focusing only on money. You can compliment something without wanting to attach a price tag to it. Even as a couple, if you have separate finances, you shouldn’t feel obligated to tell your partner the price of something you’re spending your own money on.
6 – “Do you see anyone else?”
This question involves a more intimate inquiry: are you having sex with someone else? And the first date is simply too early to ask about that. Every time you bring up the topic of sex early in a relationship, it can be perceived as intrusive or as if that’s your only interest in the person. The subject of sex is not something that should be taken lightly or brought up too soon.
7 – “Do you like my outfit?”
Or any other question related to your appearance. These are thorny questions, and the answers may not satisfy you. Another area to avoid? You certainly don’t want to put someone on the spot by asking if they’ve had a first romantic date with people of your race or religion.
8 – “Do you want to have children?”
First dates should be about getting to know someone without projecting too far ahead. These questions should be brought up later. Wait until you know the other person a bit before addressing these topics.
9 – “What are your reasons for breaking up?”
It may seem that asking in advance saves time, but it can backfire on you. This question comes across as if you’re trying to discover what the other person likes so you can pretend to be that, or immediately decide if they’re worth your time. Chances are, if someone has genuine dealbreakers, they’ll tell you about them in their own way.
10 – “How is your relationship with your parents?”
The topic of parents can affect people and make them uncomfortable. This is especially true if they are not on good terms or if they do not have parents. Additionally, people automatically assume that if you do not have a good relationship with your parents, you have issues with your mom or dad, which may not be the case.
11 – » Qu’êtes-vous ? «
If you are asking this question to inquire about someone’s race or ethnicity, maybe don’t. If someone wants you to know about their race or religion, they will tell you.
12 – “What do you want to do tonight?”
A date appreciates it when you have made plans. If you ask them where they want to eat, it often gives the impression that you haven’t thought about or prepared for the first date and that it doesn’t matter to you. If nothing comes to mind, prepare several options and ask them what they prefer.
13 – “Do you drink a lot? Because I do.”
This might come across as an oddly awkward comment, but it could go wrong. You probably don’t drink as much as you think, and discussing topics like this, even as a joke, can backfire if someone doesn’t know you yet. He doesn’t know you, so he might not be able to tell jokes from the truth. Wait a bit for that kind of comment.
14 – “Why did your last relationship end?”
No matter how curious you are, don’t ask questions about past relationships, especially about the dynamics of a divorce or a recent breakup. At this stage of your relationship, it’s really none of your business to know the gory details of the breakup or how many people the person has had sex with since their divorce.
15 – “What are you looking for in a relationship?”
This is yet another topic to save for later. There is no need to put such pressure on the other person. Let them enjoy the first date without worrying about the next steps. If they want a second date, you will know, trust me. If not, it is best to make it as easy as possible for them to move on with kindness and happiness. Moreover, when you ask this question, you might feel like you are hoping to find out what the other person wants so you can play that role. It is better to let things happen authentically.
16 – “How many people have you slept with?”
This question is never really appropriate, but especially not on a first date. It’s none of your business. Why should it be revealed to you, a complete stranger, that they may never see again?!
17 – “Do you own your home?”
You might think you’re subtly assessing their financial situation, but you’re actually being rude. Trying to figure out how much your date has in their bank account is never a good idea.
18 – “What is your favorite sexual position?”
If you want to avoid a second date, this is an excellent way to eliminate any possibility. Maybe you thought it would be funny or a great way to break the ice, but no.
19 – “Do you still eat/drink as much?”
Some people used to ask for this. The reasons they give? Wanting to know how much it would cost if everything went well together, or preferring thinner partners in general. Regardless of the reason, anyone who asks this is a loser and it’s a red flag that screams they should be avoided at all costs. They obviously have no tact.
20 – » Parlez-moi de vous «
Okay, so it’s not technically a question, but the question is implied. It’s an overwhelming statement that usually causes an awkward pause. The best approach is to ask what you want to know. Opening up first is also a good way to transition to topics that interest you. So take the first step.
And if despite all this advice, you’re not sure about this new relationship, here are 20 signs that show it won’t work out...
