Happiness breeds success, not the other way around. Don’t take it from us, take it from science. Happy people are more creative, helpful, charitable and self-confident, have greater self-control and show better self-regulation and adaptation skills.
Yes, that’s a lot of benefits, and you can have them all for yourself. Wherever you are in life, these are 25 easy-to-locate tips for becoming happier, every day.
1. Stop giving reasons for everything.
This is the greatest key to happiness. For example, giving reasons for being chronically late to meetings or explaining your inability to spend more time with your family because you’re too busy at work indicates that your priorities are out of balance, and realigning them will lead to greater happiness. Reasons are often just excuses. We use them to hide our shortcomings. When we stop using reasons to justify ourselves, we increase our chances of changing our behavior, achieving a realistic self-image and leading a more satisfying and productive life.
2. Stop saying “should”.
I really should be working tonight, I really should be eating better, I really should be spending more time at home. The word implies reluctance and guilt. Start by saying “you want” instead of “should”. Positive language will help you clarify and prioritize what you really want to do right now – and can help you adopt healthy behaviors you’re not crazy about (you really want to eat better) in a motivating way.
3. Be grateful.
It’s simple and it works. The next time you’re feeling blue, think of five things in your life for which you’re grateful.
4. Change your “happiness paradigm”.
Redefine what happiness means to you right now and realize that you can be happy now. Guys, in particular, misunderstand the happiness formula. We think: “If I can work harder now, I’ll be more successful and happier”. And it turns out that’s not true, partly because every time we achieve a goal, our brain changes the meaning of success. So happiness is the opposite of a moving target, and we never get there. But if men can create happiness in the present, they can really improve their long-term success rate.
5. Practice, if only for 7 minutes.
Studies have shown that exercise can be as effective against depression and anxiety as antidepressants. There’s a physical component (training your brain to release dopamine) “plus” when you exercise, your brain registers a win. You’ve succeeded. And that creates this cascade of success. Then you start to develop more positive habits.
6. Say thank you to someone.
Writing a positive two-minute e-mail to someone you know, congratulating them or thanking them for something, greatly increases your social support. And it makes you feel happier when you write that note.
7. Imagine you’re old and looking back on your life and giving yourself some advice.
The best advice in life comes from people who have lived more than you have. So put yourself in your grandfather’s or grandmother’s shoes and try to imagine what sage wisdom they might bestow upon you.
8. Make a simple to-do list.
Write down five or ten things you want to accomplish in life. Boiling things down creates clarity and will enable you to start a plan much more quickly.
9. Work on your perception of happiness.
It’s about realizing that happiness is the ultimate goal. It’s about finding the overlap between the three questions: “What gives me meaning?”, “What gives me pleasure?” and “What are my strengths?”. Identifying these elements, and focusing on them even for part of the day, will boost your mood in the long term.
10. Set objectives that are means, not ends.
For lasting happiness, we need to change the expectations we have of our goals: rather than seeing them as ends (hoping that achieving them will make us happy), we need to see them as means (recognizing that they can enhance the pleasure we take. in the journey). A goal gives us a sense of being while doing. Choose goals that involve growth and connection rather than acquisition.
11. Write down three good, positive things that happened each day.
In your work, your career and your life. It may sound cheesy, but it’s scientifically proven to work in the long run. Over a decade of empirical studies has proven its profound effect on the way our brains are wired. Your brain will be forced to scan the last 24 hours for potential positives. In just five minutes a day, this prompts the brain to be more adept at noticing and focusing on opportunities for professional and personal growth, and seizing opportunities to act on them. It’s an exercise with staying power: one study showed that those who took the time to do it were less depressed and more optimistic, even after the exercise had stopped.
12. Decatastrophize.
Few things contribute more to depression than seeing a temporary condition as a final calamity. Things are rarely as bad as they seem.
13. Focus on small, manageable goals.
Still feeling on the verge of losing control? Define and claim your territory. One of the key drivers of success is the belief that our behavior matters; that we are in control of our future. However, when our stress and workload are growing faster than our ability to cope, a sense of control is the first thing to go. If we focus first on small, manageable goals, we regain the sense of control that is so essential to performance.
14. Create a 20-second rule.
Reduce the “barrier to change” by 20 seconds, making a potential good habit easier to achieve in 20 seconds, or a bad habit much harder.
15. Make an appointment.
Make sure you devote enough time to your social interactions with friends and family. In one famous study, scientists studied the well-being of 1,600 Harvard students over a 30-year period. They found that the happiest ten percent of students were those with the strongest social relationships – which was a more accurate predictor of happiness than GPA, income, SAT scores, gender or race. You can also try dating and live chat platforms.
16. Smile.
Flashing a fake smile reduces stress, according to a University of Kansas study, in which subjects were asked to dip their hands in a bucket of ice water while forcing a smile. Researchers monitoring the subjects recorded lower blood pressure in those smiling through the icy experience. And smiling people reported less anxiety than those who showed neutral or distressed expressions.
17. Do something nice, even for a fool.
People tend to avoid those they don’t like – like your sworn enemy in the workplace – and detach themselves from problems they wish would go away. Avoidance adds to long-term stress. By facing up to problems and acting on them, you take control, and this sense of empowerment will reduce stress. Even better: an act of kindness towards the office jerk will automatically make you feel better, even if it goes unrecognized.
18. Spend money, but on experiences, not things.
A group of psychologists have discovered something they call the Easterlin Paradox, which means that physical possessions will make us happier, but only up to a point. Experiences become part of ourselves, while iPhones and Italian suits remain separate from who we are. Experiences – whether it’s a luxury vacation or a trip to the movies – also create social bonds, which have been shown to benefit mood.
19. Exercise your signature strength.
Everyone is good at something. Every time we use a skill, whatever it may be, we feel a surge of positivity.
20. Forget aging.
Romanelli offers a quote from actor John Barrymore: “You don’t grow old until your regrets exceed your dreams.” So you can stay young in perpetuity.
21. Take a break at 1:11.
Set the alarm on your phone for this time every day. Why should you do this? Because it’s important to have a regular time just so you can take a moment to feel peaceful and relaxed. 1:11 is easy to remember.
22. Agree with who you are.
Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. See your mistakes as opportunities to learn. Notice the things you do well, no matter how small. In an unexpected discovery, the University of Hertfordshire psychologists who conducted the survey found that the habit that best corresponds to being happy – and satisfied with life in general – is self-acceptance.
23. Ask for help.
Realize that you can’t and shouldn’t be Superman. Asking for help relieves what’s stressing you – and social interaction will produce a doubly joyful effect.
24. Plan to do what you want, without having to do it.
Waiting for a task to be done can make you feel discouraged. Book a round of golf, a ski trip or a beach getaway to motivate yourself.
25. Meditate.
Mindfulness meditation is effective in reducing depression, anxiety and pain. The technique involves remaining still and concentrating on the present moment, while focusing on areas of relaxing tension throughout the body. Two and a half hours of practice a week is all it takes to achieve significant results. The best part: you can do it anywhere, anytime, and it won’t cost you a penny, a depression-lifter.
And once you’ve done all this, you just might have the secret to having the best sex after 40!
