Consent is at the heart of CNC. Without mutual consent, there can be no consensual CNC practice. This particular exploration of sexuality breaks down some of the barriers that prevent us from knowing our deepest desires, and opens our minds to new possibilities.
Knowing the limits of your sexuality is often a challenge for the most curious. Sex can be as wonderful as it is complex, and the path to sexual fulfillment can be tortuous. CNC is a practice that allows you to push back your boundaries by giving your partner permission to go beyond them. Consensual non-consent is a bit like the famous no that means yes. Except here, it’s true. If consent is not mutual, it’s called rape. I’d like to make it clear that you need to know the difference before you think you’re getting away with anything.
This way of freeing yourself from social norms is quite controversial, but for those who try it, it offers an experience of trust, security and freedom. CNC is the power to say „yes“ to the unknown, to free ourselves from social norms and discover our own inner strength.
Want to know more? I’ll tell you.
How do you define CNC?
Non-consensual consent, or consensual non-consent, overturns the boundaries of sexuality. You give your partner power, the power to transgress boundaries in complete safety, with respect and trust. While it is said that this sexual practice frees us from norms for a deeper, more authentic experience, it is nonetheless rather paradoxical. Why is this so? Because we accept sexual acts that might seem unacceptable or violent in another context.
How do we put this into practice?
Let me remind you that non-consensual consent must actually be consensual and responsible. We are „pretending“. And so, like all BDSM practices, you need to agree on limits, communicate and establish a safeword. Talk about your fantasies, your desires and what you’re looking for from this session. In CNC, the partner who takes control must be attentive to all the other person’s reactions. The partner must be able to read his or her partner’s signals to make sure he or she doesn’t cross any previously defined boundaries.
Once this is done, you can indulge your unbridled sexual desires. Non-consensual consent may seem extreme or shocking to some, but it can offer a unique experience of self-exploration, liberation and confidence. Of course, it’s not for everyone. But it will enable you to discover new facets of yourself and your partner.
Where doesconsensual non-consent come from?
You might be surprised to learn that it’s not a new sexual practice. Also known as „informed consent“ at one time, it emerged in the 1980s. The practice was developed in the BDSM community to enable partners to create a safe and trusting environment in which to explore the darkest and most intense fantasies.
But we can go back even further in history, to ancient cultures where sex was considered a sacred practice, which enabled communication with the gods (hence the origin of Mon dieu! Mon dieu!? Ok, I’ll stop the jokes).
And let’s not forget the major influence of the media and popular culture, where sex has become taboo. But popular films such as 50 Shades of Grey and 365 Days, to name but a few, have given a glamorous edge to non-consensual consent, breaking boundaries and taboos.
What scenarios can we imagine with non-consensual consent?
It all depends on your fantasies, of course, but we can categorize the most common erotic role-playing games.
Dominance and power
If you like one of you to be a „victim“ in your sexual relations, domination and power role-playing games are sure to please. Again, with the consent of both partners. Whether it’s the abusive boss, the father-in-law who wants to see his daughter-in-law cry and beg for mercy, or any other scenario where one dominates the other, … it’s up to you to find the story that gets you hard.
Sequestration
This can be associated with a power play. Here, we’re talking about control. In control games, one partner takes control of the other without prior warning. This can include acts of physical or mental restraint, such as the use of blindfolds or ball gags to restrict breathing. Locking in a room or cellar, followed by abuse, is also a common scenario. And let’s not forget the ropes and handcuffs attached to the bed.
Rape
While the idea may seem shocking, in the context of CNC, it can be a real turn-on. Even downright intense and cathartic. Imagining a stranger or a thief, for example, coming home (with CNC) can be highly erotic for a woman.
Blackmail
Whether it’s emotional or psychological, blackmail (agreed in advance) is in fact well framed. Partners are aware of the potential risks and the limits they must not cross. Tell her that you’ll reveal her most unmentionable secret if she doesn’t comply with your wishes, or that you’ll show photos of them in compromising positions to her office colleagues, etc. I’m sure you’ll come up with the most exciting idea for both of you.
Kidnapping
The famous kidnapping scenario where the woman finds herself at the mercy of her captor. What we particularly like here is physical restriction or psychological control, such as putting her through a tough interrogation to create an emergency situation, or cutting off certain senses like sight. Restricting movement, too, adds a big „plus“ to the sensations of the „kidnapped“ person.
So much for a start on consensual non-consent. In my next article on BDSM, I’ll tell you about its dangers, how to practice it safely, its benefits and give you a few more tips on how to become a real CNC pro.
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