Versavi

My name is Tanya. If you ask me what I am like, I can hardly answer in one word. I can be very different. I can laugh out loud, and a minute later I think so deeply that I stop hearing the whole world around me. I can be so gentle that I want to touch my whole life with my fingertips..

Or I can be that person who will look you straight in the eye and tell you the truth you didn't want to hear. And that's probably why my life has never been easy. I have black eyes. Not just dark—just black. The kind that people sometimes try to read something in, but can't always. I've often been told that my eyes can be dangerous..
I always laughed. Because, in fact, there is a lot of tenderness hidden behind this look.. I just don't show it to everyone. My smile is a completely different story. . It appears unexpectedly . I can walk around for a long time, seriously thinking about my business, listening to someone, and barely changing my facial expression.. And then someone says something funny - and that's it. I smile. . And at that moment, as I was told, my whole face changes.. i love my smile. Not because I think it's perfect.. But because it's real. I really like authenticity in general. . I don't like masks. . I don't like people who say one thing, think another, and do a third. I can be fooled once.. Maybe even twice. But the third time, I'll just leave.. No scandal. No explanations. No drama. Because I've learned to understand: sometimes, leaving silently is much stronger than proving yourself right a hundred times..

My long hair has always been a part of me. I love the way it moves when I walk, the way it blows in the wind, the way it falls on my shoulders. But when it comes to my body, it's always been my legs that have drawn the most attention. Long, slender, framed by tattoos..

In fact, the tattoos on my body are not just drawings. Each of them means something. Some remind me of people. Some of them are moments. Some of them are pain. And some of them are things I've been through. There are many stories on my body. If you look at me superficially, you might think that I'm just a girl with tattoos. But if you look closely, each drawing can tell you something about me..
About who I was. About who I have become. And about the person I will never be again.. I am not afraid to be myself. . This is probably one of the most important things I have learned.. I don't want to be liked by everyone.. I don't want to be comfortable. I don't want to say what is expected of me.. If I don't like something, I will say it.. If I love, I will say it.. If I am hurt, I will not pretend that everything is fine.. And if a person behaves unfairly, I will not remain silent just because the truth may be inconvenient.. I had to pay for this honesty. . People were sometimes offended. . Someone called me harsh. Someone said that I was too straightforward. Someone simply stopped communicating with me. . And you know what? I don't regret it.. Because I would rather be alone than surrounded by people who have to play a role.. But there is one thing that people often don't see. . Behind my straightforwardness, there lives a very gentle girl.. The one who can listen to a person for hours if they are hurting.. The one who remembers little things. The person who can buy a friend their favorite coffee simply because she happened to be walking past a coffee shop and remembered him.. The one who can hug without any words. The one who loves evenings when you can sit somewhere by the window, listen to music, and think about life.. I am not cold.. I am just being careful.. My heart is not open to everyone . But if I let someone in, they get to see the real me.. No filters. No beautiful legends. no games. Once, I stood in front of the mirror and looked at myself.. At the black eyes. At the long hair. At the tattoo parlor. In my reflection, which knew more about me than anyone else.. And suddenly I thought: "You've spent so many years trying to explain to people why you are the way you are.. "And why?" I smiled. . For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel like explaining anything. . I was just being myself..