CassieBrown

First of all, a warning: this space is mine, and you enter it gently..

My name is Cassie Brown. The full name, because that's how introductions are done here. I have a habit of smiling when I'm nervous, and I'm almost always nervous in the first few minutes. It's not a facade of shyness: it's just that I have trouble getting started. Then, I have trouble stopping..

I've never been the type to just cut things off abruptly. I prefer that the conversation cools down a bit, that there's that awkward and beautiful silence where we both know what's going to happen, and where neither of us says it. That's where I feel comfortable. On the edge..

If you want to know where I come from: a room with pink and purple light, a white t-shirt slipping off my shoulder, entire afternoons doing nothing with a curiosity that itches me. I started out of boredom, and I stayed because I discovered something I didn't know about myself: I like being looked at. More than I should..

There are two Cassies, and they don't get along well. One asks for permission before sitting down. The other sits wherever she wants and waits to see. The first one is the one who responds to the initial messages. The second one appears when I lower my voice, when I stop laughing out of politeness, and when I look at you as if we already know..

I love slowness. A look that lingers for a second too long. A hand that rests where it doesn't quite touch, and stays there, as a warning. The moment before the first kiss, which is better than the kiss itself. I love the neck, the nape of the neck, the backs of the knees, those places that almost no one remembers and that take my breath away. I love it when someone whispers in my ear, close enough to feel their breath, and not understand everything..

I undress slowly, because the waiting is also for me, and I don't offer it to anyone else.. The t-shirt stays stuck to my shoulder for a moment before falling; the rest follows, in the order I decide.. I like that you see me making choices.. When the clothes are gone, my skin prickles, and I don't hide it: it's visible on my arms, on my chest, in the way I breathe.. And when I finally let go, there's no going back.. I moan without asking permission.. I laugh in the middle and I continue.. I like firm hands, teeth that are just right, and the mark of your fingers that lingers for a moment.. I like toys when someone decides for me, and hot water, and cold cream where you don't expect it.. I like the look of hair sticking to the face and a rumpled sheet..

Ce que je ne supporte pas: The haste, the background noise, the way we skip the preliminaries as a mere formality. And those who talk about us without asking anything. Here, I leave my texts, my quotes, my desires, and my preferences, and I do so without hesitation. If you've reached the end, you know who you're talking to and where to start. Otherwise, read again: I'm not in a hurry, and neither should you be..