Recovering from a breakup is a delicate process that takes a lot of time. It can also happen that you receive an “I still love you” message five or six months after the breakup. This light touch will plunge you back into an ocean of memories and generate a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach. As soon as these sensations are born inside you, you’ve just been hoovered up.
What is the vacuum technique?
Also known as “hoovering”, hoovering is one of the most popular manipulative techniques used by narcissistic perverts. Most people define the hoovering technique as a sincere attempt at reconciliation and recovery. What’s more, some psychotherapists claim that hoovering is a primordial lever that favors the birth and flourishing of toxic relationships.
The hoovering technique is used by the narcissistic pervert after a few weeks’ break-up. It always begins with a clear, condensed apology. It can also be accompanied by “Love Bombing”, i.e. sending lavish, expensive gifts to your home or office. Small gestures of affection or false pretenses can be linked to the technique of destruction.
Did you refuse your former partner’s apology despite the apology?
In order to get you back, manipulators meticulously choose the words contained in DMs, SMSs or MMSs. Here’s the list of phrases used during the vacuuming technique:- “I’m watching our movie, thinking about us again.”- “I’ve been dreaming about you, missing you so much.”- “Are you thinking about our beautiful story?”
What are the signs of hoovering?
As a manipulative technique, the narcissistic pervert will get back in touch with you using various seduction techniques. He’ll take the time to analyze your daily life and your former life as a couple.
Reconnecting on important dates
The aspiration technique can therefore take place during your birthday, or other special date on which you’ve shared unique moments. Are you still on his Facebook friends list? Note that this is an indirect form of submission that encourages the manipulator’s self-confidence. By referring to the content on your profile, he can send you messages such as “Happy vacations”.
A declaration of unconditional love
By opting for a manipulation technique akin to flirting, the narcissistic pervert will also make grand declarations of love. Typical messages to support his domination are phrases like: “Over time, I’ve come to realize that you’re my soulmate. I regret it to this day”, “I’ve tried to forget you, but no one else makes me feel the way you do”.
An urgent need for help
While emphasizing your submission, the narcissistic pervert may recontact you by inventing emergency situations. It’s a manipulative technique that affects your self-esteem and life principles. By capturing your attention, he subtly insinuates himself into your life. How to avoid falling for it? These days, most couples break up and enter a phase where the relationship becomes toxic, and this manifests itself through insults. As soon as you see any kind of physical or moral abuse, cut them off without hesitation. Did you recognize yourself in our red flags?
