It’s often said that routine kills desire, but that’s not the only criterion, especially for people over 50. There’s also work, family and all the stress that goes with it, as well as hormonal changes and unconscious blocking.
However, low desire is not inevitable for couples – far from it. And peak libido isn’t just for the young. Here are 3 tips to keep your sex life going after 50. Ready to maintain your desire?
The hormonal factor
The hormonal aspect of desire plays a major role. It’s the sex hormones we secrete that generate our libido. However, when women reach menopause, they stop secreting these hormones, while as men age, their testosterone levels drop sharply. So, from a hormonal point of view, libido is in free fall. But desire can be worked on.
So all is not lost. You can count on the psychological aspect of desire. It’s a desire, the expression of a fantasy that’s directed towards his or her partner or towards a celebrity or whatever. All this imaginary work is very important for maintaining desire in a couple, especially when routine sets in. Indeed, when you’ve got into the habit of making love in exactly the same way over and over again (you know each other so well, why go looking for something complicated when you know exactly what each of you needs).
But these habits take away the surprise and can generate boredom. We lose interest in the sexual act, which we always anticipate in the same way. It’s like going to see a movie you know by heart – there are no surprises, no discoveries. So if you add the negative aspect of routine to that of hormones, it really doesn’t help. And yet..
Novelty to rekindle desire
While there’s no miracle product to increase libido when it comes to hormones, it’s easier to work on the psychological aspect by introducing something new. And yes, it’s never too late! You can always try the various aphrodisiac recipes you find (you never know, if you believe in them), or try out those habits that improve your sex life, but there’s nothing like trying new things. And the list is long.
Sex toys
If you thought you’d already tried everything, introducing sex toys into the couple brings new sensations. Firstly, because they work beyond the other’s capacity for stimulation (don’t try to compete with the famous womanizer, your tongue won’t survive it). On the contrary, use this external stimulation to multiply sensations. You can then concentrate on another part of your partner’s body while stimulating her clitoris with a toy.
The more daring can even stimulate the anal area in addition to another zone (remember, gentlemen, that prostate pleasure is incredible!). You can also use a sextoy to stimulate both partners during penetration. You’ll feel new sensations that will awaken your desire. Don’t hesitate to visit specialized online stores and discover the many possibilities available to spice up your sexual games.
Change your habits a little
Without going as far as using a sextoy (if that’s not your cup of tea), you can also change certain habits. Find a new place to make love: you could simply move to a different room in your house, or go exploring in nature, for example. Try out other practices, take your time, alternate penetration and caresses (with your hands or mouth), or even massages. Learn to get pleasure in different ways, and you’ll see, you’ll get a taste for it.
Stimulate her erotic imagination to regain desire
If you’re not too keen on mainstream porn, there are other erotic media to get your imagination going. You can turn to reading and let yourself be carried away by the sensations provided by the images you construct from the words. Sound is also a great stimulant, so turn to erotic audios. You can also start sexting to awaken desire. This will also enable you to express your desires (sometimes easier to do in writing) and perhaps discover new practices.
Last but not least, don’t get bogged down in sexual performance. Sharing and communicating together will enable you to rediscover a fulfilling sexuality.
