From mysterious hashtags to enigmatic letters, let’s decode the secret language that moves the hearts(and sometimes other parts) of connected singles.Fasten your seatbelts, we’re off on a journey to the land of naughty acronyms – and then some!
Photo Iurii Laimin
Imagine yourself as an intrepid explorer, machete in hand, hacking your way through the dense forest of online profiles. Every swipe is a new adventure, every match an exciting discovery. But watch out for the traps! These digital jungles are full of mysterious codes that can turn your quest for love into a real headache. Gone are the days when a simple “single seeking soul mate” was enough. Today, it’s the age of #MMM, DTF and other cryptic gems. Don’t panic, your expert guide (me) is here to help you become a true Indiana Jones of dating!
The acronyms you need to master
#MMM: The opensesamefor kind-hearted souls, once standing for “Meufs Mecs Merveilleux “.
#MMM has metamorphosed into “Mixed Marvelous Minds”. It’s the Holy Grail for people who advocate uninhibited, benevolent and inclusive sexuality. Imagine a rainbow unicorn riding a cloud of benevolence – you’ve got it! But beware: some clever people use it as swipe bait. Beware, beware!
INTJ, ENTJ, ENFP… The Rubik’s Cube ofpersonality
These series of letters are a bit like your potential crush sending you his or her psychological DNA. INTJ? You’re dealing with a strategist capable of planning your next 50 dates. ENFP? Get ready for an emotional rollercoaster worthy of a Disney movie. Practical, isn’t it? In just four letters, you’ll know whether you’re in for a Mr. Darcy or a Jack Sparrow romance!
DTF vs LTR
The great schism of DTF (Down To F***) dating, it’s the modern-day equivalent of “Are you coming for a nightcap at my place?”. Direct, efficient, no time for nonsense. The ultimate booty call. On the other hand, LTR (Long Term Relationship) is more like “I’m looking for the father/mother of my future children”. Between the two, it’s up to you to decide whether you’d rather play the wolf or the shepherdess!
ENM
The gateway to “Ethically Non Monogamous” polyamory, or how to politely say “I don’t believe in fidelity, but that doesn’t make me an asshole”. If you see this, prepare to have to share your conquest. After all, love is like pizza, it’s better when shared, isn’t it?
Pronouns :respect above all He, She, It, .. .
No, this isn’t an English grammar lesson, but a way of making sure you’re addressing your interlocutor correctly. Because nothing kills a conversation faster than a “Hey man!” sent to someone who defines himself as a “she”.
420: the good weed smoker’s code
If you see this number, be prepared for philosophical discussions on the meaning of life at 3am, interspersed with unexplained giggles and raids on the fridge.
Photo Max Schwoelk
Acronym bestiary byagegroup
Young wolves (18-25 years) :
- FWB (Friends With Benefits) : for those who want to have their cake AND eat it too.
- YOLO (You Only Live Once): the battle cry of those who swipe first and think later
- TBH (To Be Honest): because honesty is like a thong: it’s better when it’s well placed.
- IRL (In Real Life): to remind us that there’s a world outside Tinder
- FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out): the perfect excuse to accept any and all dates
Alpha wolves (ages 25-40):
- DINK (Double Income, No Kids) : the Holy Grail of ambitious thirtysomethings.
- GSOH (Good Sense Of Humor): because by this age, you’ve figured out that laughter is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
- WLTM (Would Like To Meet) : for those who’ve had enough of virtual cat-and-mouse games
- MBA (Married But Available) : the secret code for married adventurers ( use with care!)
- ISO (In Search Of) : when you know exactly what you want… or not.
Grey Wolves (40+):
- WLTM (Widowed Living The Moment) : when you’ve decided that life really does begin at 40.
- OALF (Old And Looking For…) : honesty is the best policy, especially when you’ve got experience to spare.
- DWM (Divorced White Male) : because at that age, emotional baggage is part of the charm.
- MOMBA (Midlife Crisis Over, Moving Boldly Ahead) : for those who have survived the midlife crisis and come out of it stronger
- WLTM (Wine Lover Seeking Tasting Mate) : when you’re looking for someone to share more than just glasses.
Emoji, the new hieroglyphs of love
I’ve already covered the latest emojis in vogue among young people, to help you navigate these murky waters. Here are a few more, as you never know…
🦄 The unicorn: the Holy Grail for couples in search of a third wheel
🔼🔽 Arrows: a subtle code to indicate your preferences in bed (or not so subtle after all)
🍆🍑 Suggestive fruits and vegetables: because sometimes an eggplant is worth a thousand words
🚩 The red flag: the emoji equivalent of “Flee, you fool!”
💎 The diamond: For those looking to be nurtured (or promising to do so)
Photo Olga Volkovitskaia
Closing words
Well, gentlemen! You’re now equipped to navigate the tumultuous waters of online dating. Remember, behind every acronym lies a real person, with hopes, dreams and perhaps a collection of houseplants to make a botanical garden green with envy. So go ahead, dare to talk, and who knows? Maybe you’ll find your soulmate… or at least someone to share your popcorn in front of Netflix. And remember: in the great game of love, YOLO is better than FOMO!
P.S.: if you come across a profile marked GSOH WLTM DWM ISO LTR, don’t hesitate to call up your acronym dictionary. After all, love is a universal language, even when it speaks in code!
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