How to show your affection and put passions to the test… Do you feel the urge to give your wife a little more attention and affection? Well, assuming you delete the four-letter word enough, do it. The vast majority of women really need to hear the words “I love you”, but there are many things you can do that are almost as effective.
Whether it’s helping out more around the house or making more room for your in-laws, here are the ten best ways to show your love, tell her “I love you” and keep your passions in check. And if you’re looking for more kind words she’ll always appreciate, don’t forget the 13 sexiest things you can say to a woman.
1 – Focus on her
Step away from the smartphone. Give her your full attention. This doesn’t mean just sitting on the sofa watching TV together, because then Netflix doesn’t draw your attention to your partner. Turn off the TV, look at each other and talk to each other with all the electronics put away. Take a walk, go out to eat or simply relax on the sofa and catch up. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, but the fact that you’re devoting all your time to her counts for part of the day.
2 – Set reminders
Seriously. If you’re not the kind of guy who randomly thinks of fun little surprises for your partner and remembers to do them, set calendar reminders so you don’t forget. Sure, it takes away some of the spontaneity, but it’s better than doing nothing at all. Let technology be your friend! Identify all the significant specific dates over the next six months, as well as four to six arbitrary dates for action. Then assign an actionable item for each date, such as giving fresh flowers, planning a fun date night or getting her the handbag she’s been eyeing for months. Set reminders on your phone, and when something pops up, do it. Easy, right? She’ll understand that you’re saying “I love you” by your actions.
3 – Really listen, without giving advice, to say “I love you”
Ask her how her day went and listen to her uninterrupted and validate how she felt if something upsetting happened, rather than giving advice. For example, if she says she had a bad day because her boss moved up an unexpected deadline, a validating statement would sound something like this: “It makes sense that you’d feel stressed. Deadline changes are the worst”. And what shouldn’t you say? “Why didn’t you push back? You have to stand up for yourself”. While an answer giving advice may seem more logical to you, sometimes you need to be there just to listen and commiserate with your partner. This is often the hardest thing for men to do, but if you can listen without fuss, it will show him that you really love him.
4 – Learn to apologize
This is only when you’ve made a mistake, of course. But everyone makes mistakes. The key here is to learn how to do it effectively and in a way that shows you respect and love her. Learning to apologize sincerely is a great way to say “I love you” and help many couples reduce resentment and conflict. The key elements of a good apology? Expressing regret, taking responsibility, making amends, showing remorse and asking forgiveness. It turns out that something like, “I’m sorry. I feel I did that and I was wrong. Can you forgive me?” goes a long way in the other person’s mind. Important when you want to say “I love you”…
5 – Give, a beautiful way to say “I love you
Sometimes you just have to do what she wants. Did she want you to cut your hair, wear gingham or get rid of your favorite sneakers because they smelled bad? Maybe you’ve resisted because you don’t agree, but if it’s something that doesn’t really concern you, you should let it go. Show her you love her by giving in and letting her win this one. Kick off those smelly shoes, buy some gingham and wear it with a smile, and cut your hair or shave your beard the way she wants. Either way, show her that she’s more important than you by sticking to something less important, graciously giving up. Also be sure to read the 10 secrets to keeping your wife happy.
6 – Help her around the house, a great way to say “I love you”
It sounds obvious, but it really works. Sometimes something as simple as taking out the trash or loading the dishwasher after dinner can send a much-needed “we’re in this together” signal. What’s more, that’s not the only benefit of taking part in household chores. Research shows that men who help around the house report better and more frequent sex.
7 – Take care of your family to say “I love you”
In-laws aren’t everyone’s favorite family members, but showing them some attention is a surefire way to let your partner know how you feel. Taking the time and effort to deepen your relationships with the people who matter to her is a great way to show that you love her. She’ll feel a sense of security and inner awareness knowing you’re in her life. Call or e-mail someone she loves, or simply ask her about a family member you know is important to her. For example, if her mother’s birthday is coming up, you could simply ask: “Are you thinking of anything special for your mother’s birthday?”. She’ll feel grateful and loved. A great way to tell her “I love you”.
8 – Allow her to influence you
One of the best ways to show your partner that you love her is to let her influence you on occasion – in a healthy way, of course. Allowing her to influence you means finding a way to see your significant other’s point of view as valid. Even if you think you’re right about something, try to be open-minded to her side of things. Accepting influence happens when you’re open to seeing a problem from the other person’s point of view, and you’re able to think about how that person might feel about the situation. Accepting influence means finding a way to say “yes”, “that makes sense” or “I’ve never thought of it that way before, let’s do it your way”. Being right is good, but having a happy partner is better.
9 – Stay curious
You may feel like you know everything about your partner, but chances are you really don’t. Losing curiosity about your partner is an easy way to find yourself in a relationship offense. When you delve among the hidden treasures that dwell deep in your partner’s memory, she’ll feel incredibly special. If you’re wondering where to start, a good way to show curiosity is to ask detailed questions about her childhood that you may not yet know.
10 – Ask her what makes her feel loved
Sometimes the best way is the most obvious. If you don’t know what kind of things make your partner feel loved, ask her. You may think you’re doing the best job ever of conveying love, but if you’re doing it in a way your partner misses, it doesn’t matter. If you’re good at sending flowers and cards but your partner responds well to an after-dinner board game, what matters is setting aside time for shared activities, however beautiful they may be, especially if she needs physical affection to feel loved and doesn’t get enough of it. She’ll know you’re saying “I love you”.
Now, for more relationship advice, here are 25 ways to be happier right now.
