Being single is not as easy as it seems. If we tell ourselves the opposite, thinking that alone is better, it is not always true. Indeed, being alone can sometimes be heavy to carry and the mental load that goes with it becomes heavy. So, are you or are you not “single-bilities”?
Celibacy, it is to be deserved, one must believe. Some suffer it, others cherish it, others still fantasize about it. However, the mental burden of loneliness can quickly become heavy. Especially when it concerns the field of love. This is what is known as “responsibilities linked to celibacy”, or “single-bilities”. This phenomenon was highlighted by a recent study conducted by the dating application happn, which investigated how loneliness in love could represent a burden in everyday life.
Here are 1600 single volunteers who answer a selection of themes that can represent the mental load. The goal was to reveal what seems to be the most important for all. The result is that being single is the most important issue, followed by work, money, family and current events. Surprising? Not really…
Too much celibacy kills celibacy?
In view of the results, 62% of them declared that they found this situation burdensome, even downright harmful to their well-being. This lack of a partner affects their personal and romantic development. Indeed, it is difficult to be happy when you have no one to share your daily life with. In any case, for 62% of those surveyed.
Worse still, they do not want to talk about it with their loved ones (58%) to unburden themselves a little because they are too afraid that people will make fun of their situation or even simply not be understood. It is true that the lack of understanding of those around us adds a weight to what is already weighing on us when we try to communicate and it is not heard/understood/appreciated… So if you are already depressed, this adds another layer. Hard!
So the couple is the best solution?!
The question, to overcome the “single-bilities” is: is it really better with two? Not necessarily. It is impossible to say yes or no because each case is appreciated differently. Many parameters come into play and the same ones can be apprehended totally differently depending on the individuals (life experience, character, …). There is therefore no certainty or key to success that works every time and for everyone.
Especially when you’re a couple, other problems arise that you didn’t have when you were single. The mental load can therefore remain the same. This does not prevent 60% of singles (aged 25 to 36) surveyed by happn from thinking that dating could alleviate the pressure of their empty love life. A choice, a vision.
However, among them, 40% do not believe in magic either. That is, while they would prefer to be in a relationship, they are not convinced that it will lighten their mental load. So at this point, I would advise you to weigh the pros and cons of each situation to really determine what would work for you or not. Especially when you think about what it would take to make a couple work, according to Science. So to get out of the “single-bilities” box, whether you’ve just met someone and you’re wondering whether or not to be a couple, take all the parameters into account.
According to Science, here is what it takes for a couple to work
Let’s start with the fact that a little optimism will help you a lot, whatever your choice is. If you see everything in the dark, you could be offered a solo or a giant orgy with cocks and tits in every direction and it wouldn’t make you hot or cold. Worse, it could make you even more depressed. So smile, look on the bright side and let’s work on that.
Imagine if I, as a camgirl, looked bad. I wouldn’t have many viewers and I might close my room and change my business. Nobody would want to see me, me first! So, we are optimistic and we see life in colors. Especially when we want to build a couple and deepen our love relationship.
We may be the most romantic people in the world, but love is not everything. There are ups and downs in every story, from beginning to end. Sometimes you need to add a few ingredients to make the perfect recipe for a lasting relationship. By the way, science has revealed what it takes to make a couple work.
Love & Enthusiasm
As I said, be positive, be optimistic. Put some enthusiasm into what you’re doing. It’s a bit like a recipe. You have bought very good ingredients but if you don’t know how to assemble them and spice them up to make them taste better, you won’t be satisfied. It would even be a waste.
And optimism, in addition to fighting your “single-bilities” side, allows you to better face everyday problems. A recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships even says so. It has been proven that optimistic people tend to think more constructively with their partner, and thus better solve problems encountered in everyday life. Since Science says so … !
For the curious, the panel of this study is composed of 112 couples living under the same roof for at least six months, including 107 heterosexual couples and 5 lesbian couples. The average duration of the love relationship was set at about 4 years. Thus, participants were asked about their levels of optimism in the couple and the quality of their relationships in order to better identify single-bilities.
So optimism is the secret of the couple?
So, that’s not what it says exactly. It says that people who are in a relationship and who are optimistic are better able to deal with their problems, thanks to their partner (well, their romantic relationship). And it was highlighted that for those who had a quality relationship and were optimistic, there were no or few problems. And when one was reported, it was either in the process of being resolved or was resolved. Two can make a difference. At least for those.
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