Ah, the mysteries of desire! How many of you gentlemen have ever found yourselves balancing your desires with those of your partner? A recent study by the Discurv Institute for XloveCam (July 2024) sheds some interesting light on these natural differences.
You know those moments when you’ve got stars (and something else!) in your eyes, while the missus is more enthralled by the latest episode of her Netflix series… Rest assured, you’re not alone in this emotional rollercoaster!
Preconceived ideas die hard
We’ve been hearing them since the dawn of time: “That’s all men think about”, “Women have headaches”, “Men are programmed to spread their genes”… For a long time, society has been selling us the image of a man in perpetual demand when faced with a woman playing the migraine card. Between jokes about “marital duties” and women’s magazines that promise to “awaken the tigress in you”, clichés about male and female desire have shaped our vision of sexuality. Some even claim that biology justifies these differences: testosterone makes men naturally more… enterprising. But what is really the situation in 2024, at a time when the codes of the couple and sexuality are undergoing a revolution? The figures have a few surprises in store…
A reality that hurts (but not too much)
Hold on to your hats: according to the latest Discurv study for XloveCam (July 2024), 77% of men admit to wanting to get their rocks off more often than their girlfriends. And guess what? 80% of women agree! It’s almost reassuring to see that, on this point at least, everyone agrees, isn’t it?
But it’s not just a question of “who wants more”. The survey reveals that only 51% of women consider sexuality to be important in their lives, compared with 69% of men. And hold on to your thong: back in 1996 (yes, when The Spice Girls were making the planet dance), 82% of women considered it important! What’s happened in almost 30 years? Have streaming series definitively won the battle for attention?
The great “sexual recession
And it’s not just the impression of a frustrated bachelor : we’re witnessing what the experts nicely refer to as a “sexual recession”. Basically, it’s like the stock market, but with less rise and more fall… The figures are clear: 76% of French people had intercourse during the year (down 15 points on 2006). As for weekly relations, they have fallen from 58% in 2009 to 43% today. At this rate, in a few years’ time, making love will become as rare as finding a parking lot in the center of town!
Let’s talk about pleasure!
So, gentlemen, brace yourselves: only one woman in four (27%) systematically reaches seventh heaven with her partner, compared with almost one man in two (48%). Not much to get excited about, is it? But don’t despair: strangely enough, the rate of dissatisfaction remains fairly close between the two sexes (27% for women, 23% for men). Proof that quantity isn’t always synonymous with quality!
Figures that make you think
And that’s not all! The study reveals even more marked differences in our intimate habits. When it comes to solitary pleasures, 36% of men enjoy a weekly moment of relaxation, compared to just 19% of women. Even more telling: 13% of men make this a daily activity, while only 3% of women do so. A far cry from the “Fifty Shades of Grey” cliché!
There’s also a big gap when it comes to the consumption of erotic content: 73% of men admit to watching it, versus 34% of women. This difference can be explained in part by the fact that most of this content is designed by and for men. It’s a bit like only showing soccer on TV and ignoring all other sports – it inevitably limits the audience!
The weight of social expectations
But beyond the numbers, there’s also everything we don’t measure: the mental load, accumulated fatigue, professional stress… Not to mention the fact that our society continues to send contradictory messages to women: be sensual but not too sensual, liberated but not unbridled, available but not “easy”. The result is a yo-yoing libido!
Solutions exist (yes, yes, I promise!)
The good news is that our contemporaries are increasingly comfortable talking about their desires. 71% of couples say they can discuss sexuality freely. And among young people (aged 18-34), 66% consider it important to talk openly about their fantasies. It would seem that the TikTok generation has understood something!
A few tips to warm up the atmosphere (without driving up your electricity bill):
- Stop pouting when it’s no! There’s nothing less sexy than a man who sulks like a child deprived of dessert.
- Invest in everyday seduction . No, sending a photo of your abs isn’t considered romantic…
- Really listen to your partner. And by “listen”, we don’t mean “nod and wait for her to finish talking”.
- Create the right atmosphere. Hint: socks lying around and a soccer match playing in the background isn’t exactly what you’d call a romantic setting.
A final word
A couple’s differing libidos are not inevitable, but rather a challenge to be met together. Like cooking or dancing, it’s a question of rhythm, timing and practice! And don’t forget: patience and humor are your best allies in this quest for shared pleasure.
[Technical note for the fussy: This analysis is based on the Discurv study for Xlovecam, carried out in July 2024 among 500 French people representative of the population. Suffice to say, they’ve been hard at work to come up with these crisp statistics].
And you, gentlemen, how do you deal with these differences in desire in your relationship? Feel free to share your experiences (well, maybe not the juicy details either, we’re keeping it clean!) in the comments below.
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