The biggest strain on a relationship isn’t children or lack of sex, or even the famous “no communication”. It all boils down to one problem: lack of time. So here are the secrets to the best relationships, for inspiration.
The 40-45 age group has the highest percentage of divorces in France. To avoid joining their ranks, the best thing to do in your 40s, if not earlier, is to create daily or weekly rituals (independent of children and other distractions) to ensure that you and your partner spend time together. Discover the secrets of the best relationships to help you improve yours.
Plan your time together
Take the example of Nicolas, who was on the brink of divorce. Too busy launching his own engineering company, he had completely neglected his wife Anne. Following the example of someone who made time for his wife, Nicolas booked a babysitter every Wednesday evening for a whole year. “It literally saved my marriage,” he says. Ten years later, with no children at home, he and Anne still have Wednesday evenings.
Here are more ways to spend time together.
1 – Bike together
Couples who practice a sport together reduce stress and feel closer in their relationship. The more exciting, the better: “The adrenaline rush will be channeled into your relationship.”
2 – Travel back in time
Get out the photo album or home movies… the ones from when you were youngest, most touching and most attractive.
3 – Stimulate your intellect
Your brain needs to be stimulated. Try gardening, take a class, attend a conference or play a musical instrument together. Sharing your enthusiasm will increase your bond.
Solve problems
Before filing for divorce, look at other couples. Two-thirds of unhappy couples who stayed married were happy five years later. They had solved some of the most difficult problems a couple can face, including alcoholism, infidelity, extreme financial difficulties and serious illness. Their strategy? A mix of stubborn commitment, a willingness to work together on problems and a healthy reduction in expectations. The added benefit? They avoided the financial and emotional stress of divorce, which can be significant whether you have children or not.
If you want to give your marriage a second chance, first identify the causes of your unhappiness. Is there a serious problem, such as infidelity or alcoholism? Boredom or emotional distance? Or external stress: a job, the needs of the children or financial pressures? Then use one of these tools to heal.
1 – Be patient
Over time, work situations improve, children grow up and become less demanding, and you can develop new perspectives.
2 – Work on your marriage
See a marriage counselor, get advice from friends and books, and take the time to have fun together.
3 – Ask open-ended questions
“Why are you upset? I’m 10 minutes late.” This way, the other person says what he or she has to say, or calms down.
4 – Subtle encouragement
Listen and say “OK” and “yes” while she/he is talking. It’s what the other person says that you listen to. This makes the person more sympathetic to your position. Once his or her anger has passed, you can address the real problem, calmly. One of the secrets of the best relationships…
5 – Focus on your own happiness
Be social (join a book club, choir or tennis league, or volunteer at the local food bank), or follow your personal happiness (take piano lessons, learn DIY, whatever!). Your marital problems may not go away, but having a source of personal joy allows you to build a happy life, no matter what.
Recreate the romance
The shortcut to a woman’s devotion: surprises. Give her an extravagant gesture that pampers her. The key is to do something that requires thought and effort and is just right for her. If she thinks you’re just trying to get her into bed, your plan will backfire. Here are some sexy surprises that will make her feel like a queen in your world.
1 – ” Come and relax”
Light a few candles and fill a bathtub with hot water just before she gets home. Enhance the bath with scented oils, cucumber or banana and vanilla. Escorting her to the tub and helping her undress may be enough to spark thoughts of a naughty bath.
2 – A romantic dinner in the bedroom
Offer her a picnic in the bedroom instead of a blanket on the floor or bed. Open a bottle of wine (white or champagne is less likely to stain than red) and offer appetizers like sushi, dim sum or simply homemade pizza.
3 – Prepare the bed
Be sure to pay attention to the room’s colors and choose a new set of sheets with a thread count of at least 300 in Turkish or Egyptian cotton. Then make the bed with them. Wait for the result.
4 – Dress the
Before your next party, do a little role reversal and pull out the clothes you’d like to see her in later. Tell her you remember how beautiful she looked the last time she wore this shirt to a concert (dress / blouse / … ) (extra points if you remember it well). This shows that you pay attention to her appearance and notice when she looks particularly sexy. Most men aren’t good at this, so it’ll give you a leg up on the other guys.
Now you know the secrets to the best relationships. Now all you have to do is put them into practice. Are you ready?
