According to many relationship experts (and some academic research), there are many things that same-sex couples always do better than heterosexual couples.
Maybe maintaining healthier friendships with past partners, maybe approaching parenthood with refreshing equality, or maybe simply negotiating the more awkward moments any couple faces with a healthier sense of optimism. Whatever the case, we’ve rounded up all the information a heterosexual couple could learn from the same sex.
1. Forget about “us” and “them”
In many heterosexual relationships, men have their “boys’ nights” and girls have their “girls’ nights”, as if men and women couldn’t be friends. This also forces husbands to be friends even if they don’t like each other, and vice versa. In homosexual relationships, there is no segregation of a particular gender (with the exception of the bedroom, of course). So if gay men and women can be friends, why can’t heterosexual men and women be friends?
2. They know that those who think don’t count
If someone doesn’t like your relationship, too bad for them. Many gay couples have learned to judge the judgments of others and move on. Heterosexual couples should really take this lesson to heart. Live your married life as you see fit. Friends who want to judge aren’t really your friends.
3. Open relationships can work
Research indicates that the rate of open relationships is higher among homosexual couples. Many of these open relationships are very successful, and heterosexual couples have a harder time of it. But there’s nothing to stop that. Read 15 ways to make open marriage work.
4. Sometimes you really need to talk about things
Some heterosexual couples find it hard to communicate, but there are times when it’s really necessary. When there are two women in a relationship, there’s always a lot more communication, which helps get to the bottom of problems that might be bubbling under the surface. Heterosexual couples often hide problems and don’t communicate enough.
5. Honesty is the key
With each other, but also with yourself and those who are important to you. Take a cue from absentee couples. For many of these couples, they’re more honest with family, friends and work colleagues than in the past, because going out was a big step forward. Once the problem is addressed and dealt with (and dealt with permanently), the relationships around them change and become more honest.
6. Don’t let stereotypes fool you
It’s hard enough for both partners to fulfill traditional gender roles in a homosexual relationship, so they simply don’t do it. In many heterosexual relationships, men and women often worry about playing their roles and forget to be themselves. In homosexual relationships, we can simply be ourselves. When possible, forget about the outside world and who you’re supposed to be.
7. It’s okay to be friendly with exes
Being friends with an ex is generally considered a red flag for heterosexuals, but research shows that same-sex partners can remain in the same social circle – and even be friends, after their breakup. Of course, this isn’t possible for all types of ex-some people never stop having loving feelings for each other-but it doesn’t hurt to be more open-minded about what it means to have a relationship with an ex.
8. Be friends with each other
In lesbian couples, the women are often the best friends. This means they know each other better, so they can support each other and really feel what the other is feeling.
9. Let marriage count
When you take the right to marry for granted, it’s easy to replace it with a formality. For years, straight couples said they didn’t need a piece of paper to confirm their commitment, but now we can see how important it really is for a host of legal reasons, as well as knowing which to choose and having the same rights to marry. So, if you’re feeling jaded about walking down the aisle or the fact that you’re already married, it might be time to re-evaluate your thinking.
10. Be more attentive
Thinking really does go a long way. Women are often more attentive to each other, focusing on the little things as well as the big things. Small gestures like a note on her pillow or her favorite chocolate in her handbag can be a reminder of how much you really think about each other.
11. Don’t wait to solve problems
Homosexual couples are much more willing to solve problems faster, instead of letting things fester. Homosexual couples live and love the idea that life is short and loving misery is no fun, whereas heterosexual couples live and love everyday life and that negative relationship experiences and relationships are normal. Know that it’s worth taking the time and effort to work through the issues.
12. Fighting for your relationship
On a similar note, persevere when the going gets tough. Gay couples have fought for the right to have accepted marriages. As a result, they have a strong sense of the definition of a relationship and the value of marriage. Gay couples don’t divorce as easily as heterosexual couples, which is an essential value that any couple can take away.
13. That everything happens when it comes to parenthood
Studies and statistics show that homosexual parents may have more balanced children than their heterosexual counterparts. Much of this is probably due to the fact that homosexual couples have to plan very specifically to have children, which means they are extremely well prepared when a child enters their lives. Secondly, there is no clear separation of the sexes in their parenting and, as a result, the child doesn’t have to go to their father for one thing and their mother for another. Both parents can give them everything!
Get inspired by same-sex couples and forget about the respective roles that “mom” and “dad” are supposed to play – do what works for you!
14. This self-awareness is crucial
The whole process of coming out in a heterosexual world requires a lot of introspection and self-awareness. This knowledge includes learning what you want and need, and that you can say it out loud. Normalizing the expression of your needs, desires and feelings is certainly advice many straight couples could take.
15. You should never give up on personal worries
Looking good is a great way to keep the passion alive in your relationship. It’s often a priority for gay men to feel good and look attractive to their partners. As a result, they tend to take better care of themselves than heterosexual couples and increase their chances of earning their sexual passion. So go ahead, get that new outfit, invest in regular haircuts, facials or whatever helps you feel like you’re on top of your game!
16. Your relationship doesn’t have to fit into a box to be great
Simply put: gay couples know that their relationships don’t have to look like everyone else’s to be successful. Traditional relationships aren’t the only way to achieve happiness and love. If what you currently have in your relationship isn’t working for you, don’t be afraid to change things.
17. Sex shouldn’t be rushed
It’s important that both people in a homosexual relationship have an orgasm, not necessarily at the same time, take time and consider each other. It’s not so much a question of hurrying, but of satisfying both sides. Long-term relationships should be about each other, not just in the bedroom.
18. There are times when your partner comes before your family
The age-old tension with in-laws can certainly still exist with homosexual couples, but often for different reasons than with heterosexual couples. Heterosexual couples often take years to settle their family allegiances. Usually, one of the hetero partners’ family members isn’t happy that they’ve lost their priority status and won’t give up, marriage or no marriage.
This can be a problem when the partner hasn’t made it clear that they’re a separate unit from their parents, now that they’re adults. On the other hand, homosexual couples have already gone through the ordeal of contact with their families, automatically differentiating them from their own heterosexual families. Whether their coming out was immediately accepted or met with judgment and rejection, a fundamental gap remains, and the partners’ loyalty prevails.
19. Letting go
Be open to new experiences as a couple and you’ll find that life is a lot more exciting. Be yourself, both partner and duo, take social risks and meet new people. Have a good time and maintain serene relationships, it’s so much easier when we’re comfortable letting go, trying out new hobbies and ideas for outings, and being a little vulnerable and carefree along the way.
20. Keep your cool
Fighting is normal, but it must be done in a fair and civil manner. Same-sex couples fight less and in a more respectful and calm manner. This is obviously healthy, and statistically has been shown to be highly beneficial to a long-term relationship.
21. You shouldn’t be afraid to experiment
For the most part, gay men are more open to sexual experimentation than heterosexual couples. Bringing lightness and playfulness into the bedroom is a skill worth learning.
22. You should put loyalty first
Sometimes, heterosexual couples have loyalty issues, feeling more attached to their friends and family than to their partner. Homosexual couples have a strong sense of loyalty to each other. They rise or die with their partner and demonstrate a level of respect that we can learn from and emulate.
23. You can stay fit together
Of course, not all gay couples are fit, but staying physically fit is a priority for many gay men. Obviously, there are health reasons for staying fit, but for couples, better blood circulation, greater neurotransmitter production, higher hormone levels and, let’s face it, a hotter sex life are welcome.
24. Authenticity counts
There’s no need to play your cards close to the vest, but many heterosexual couples do. Since same-sex couples generally need to “come out” and face everything around them, this has made them more authentic and prevented them from hiding their true feelings.
25. You should focus on your strengths
Find your compromises and your strengths. Same-sex couples are much more consistent about who brings what to the table and how that extends to areas of involvement. Who’s the social planner? Who worries about money? Or who remembers birthdays? Figure out what each of you is good at and work to your heart’s content.
26. You should keep things on the positive side
Research has shown that gay men and lesbians tend to be more optimistic when encountering relationship problems. This allows for collaborative problem-solving instead of finger-pointing. So, the next time a problem arises with your security manager…. Try to keep things upbeat and optimistic rather than resorting to defense or criticism.
27. You need to know yourself outside your hobbies and interests
Heterosexual couples often think they’re doing well because they’re interested in the same things. But this isn’t always the case. It can be harder to find a same-sex partner for a relationship. Because you simply don’t know who’s gay or not when you go out. This means that gay men and women spend time looking for “the one” and will have more in common if they find out more in advance. It’s best not to rush into a relationship based on superficial attributes and instead get to know each other as people.
28. Learn that you can’t control your partner
According to research conducted at the University of California at Berkeley, same-sex couples are also less likely to resort to controlling or hostile tactics to get what they want from their partner. Unfortunately, this behavior occurs far more often in heterosexual relationships. Instead of trying to take over your partner’s life, do your best to let them find their own way.
29. You need to be more active in the bedroom
Most homosexual couples have more frequent sexual relations than heterosexual couples. And frequent, satisfying sex is an important aspect of a satisfying relationship. Research shows that couples’ happiness in their relationship correlates with an active sex life. By the way, do you know the 5 secrets of sexually mature couples?
30. You should be social together
Sometimes heterosexual couples get into the habit of sitting down in front of the TV and eating dinner every night. Instead of getting stuck in a rut, get out and do exciting things together. Many gay couples spend quality time together outside the home, at restaurants, on vacation, at cultural events and so on. This allows you to talk about different things, keep interest alive and have fun!
What about developing a project together? One that you could share with your friends on a website quickly and easily ? A joint project is always better 😉
