Conventional wisdom says that lying is bad, lying to a friend is worse, and lying to a lover is direct hell. Integrity, courtesy and, above all,honesty are the foundations of a healthy relationship. Break any part of that foundation and the whole world collapses. Discover the 13 secrets you should always keep from your partner.
But let’s face it: life isn’t always that simple, and we’re not all Boy Scouts. But does she really need to know that you hate her friends? Would it really help things if she found out how you felt about her Beef Stroganoff? In both cases, the answer is no, and that’s just being honest. So learn when you should hold your tongue. And when you’re done, be sure to learn the 30 things you should tell your partner on a regular basis.So here are 13 secrets you should always keep from your partner
1 – Your sexual history
While this can sometimes come up in conversation, relationship experts say that, aside from your medical concerns (whether you’re both up to date on STD testing, for example), discussing your sexual history with your current partner has pretty much zero benefits. The number of sexual partners is a recurring problem in couples therapy. Don’t ask or tell anyone about it. Some people like the juvenile idea of a virgin bride, others really want a seasoned partner and most people fall somewhere in between. But more often than not, it’s a subject that should remain off-limits, even if you think you can predict the outcome. For more great relationship advice, there are some secret tips for building the best relationships
2 – Your secret solitary behavior
Look, everyone does strange things when they’re alone; it’s perfectly normal. If you indulge in strange behavior while you’re alone, like eating cake while excessively watching TV in your favorite underwear, or if you go chatting with young women online, keep that to yourself. This information won’t be of any use to your partner, so she doesn’t need to know.
3 – Your minor doubts
There are times in both new and long-term relationships when you may wonder whether you want the relationship to continue. If you’re experiencing these feelings for the first time, don’t share them with your partner. These initial thoughts are not helpful to share because they will create insecurity and hurt feelings. And very often, they’ll resolve themselves. Deal with them yourself. Share them with your partner if the feelings persist and grow stronger over time. But otherwise, keep your secrets.
4 – That you want her to be more successful
Let’s say your partner has a job she’s passionate about, but it’s not the ultimate either. Or maybe you can’t understand why she doesn’t try just a little harder to climb the ladder. If you share this frustration, your comments will come across as minimally hurtful to your partner. In the end, it’s probably best to keep these thoughts to yourself. This is especially true if your other half has had to deal with self-confidence issues in the past.
5 – You don’t like one of his family members
This is one of the hardest secrets to keep, but one of the most important. You certainly don’t have to say you love them, but sowing hatred will only backfire. And if their mother, sister, brother, uncle or whoever is really terrible, this problem will eventually be revealed and you’ll have a supportive role.
6 – That you don’t love something she can’t change
Another time when it’s best to keep quiet? When your partner can’t do anything about your complaint. It’s much kinder to feed little worthless lies about your partner’s haircut, hair color, meatloaf recipe and dance moves. If you love someone, sacrifice the truth in these situations. Tell them you want meatloaf tips, ask them to dance and compliment their haircut. In return, their smile will let you know you’ve done the right thing.
7 – You think one of his friends is hot
If you’re attracted to one of her close friends, keep it a secret. Of course, this is only true if you never plan to act on it. If you do, the situation is totally different and a conversation should be started. But if it’s simply that you’re a little attracted to one of her friends, it’s no big deal. Besides, you’d make everything immediately awkward if you told your partner that you think her friend is hot.
8 – What you spend your personal money on
You’ve probably heard this advice before: even if you have joint finances as a couple, each of you should also have your own bank account. There are several reasons for this, but one of them is that it’s really convenient to spend money on little things that your partner doesn’t know about. There are times when you spend money just on yourself. Are you obsessed with an expensive pair of sneakers that you know your other half wouldn’t approve of? No problem. But if these expenses have an impact on your finances together, you’ll need to talk about it.
9 – Anything negative your friends or family talk about
It’s best if you don’t share your loved ones’ initial negative reactions to your partner. Keep a few secrets. These comments can be very hurtful and difficult to recover from. If you reveal them, your partner will always remember what was said and may later use it as proof that your family or friends never loved them all along. Besides, what do they gain from knowing? That’s right, nothing.
10 – You’ve had better sex
So maybe you had a better sex time with one of your past passionate loves. But that’s not something you should share with your current lover. Your partner wants to know that she’s the best lover ever. She wants you to forget about everyone else before them, so let her think so. There’s no benefit to letting your partner know how great the sex was with someone from your past. In fact, it opens a can of worms, so keep it closed. Tell her she’s the besta you’ve ever had and watch her self-esteem blossom (an unexpected aphrodisiac). Plus, the good news is that we know how to turn your partner into a sex goddess.
11 – That you weren’t initially attracted to them
Attraction often grows after meeting someone. Mentioning that you took a while to be attracted to your current partner is neither amusing nor helpful to her. This information is hurtful and now irrelevant. You’re with her now for a reason, so you don’t need to say that attraction has finally grown.
12 – You like “X”, better to talk about your ex
There’s no point in reminding your partner what you miss about your ex or what’s best about the relationship. After all, who cares? Maybe your ex was a better cook, planned better dates or shared your interest in a certain hobby, but your past relationship ended for a reason, so let it go. Better to spend time using what you’ve learned and appreciated and making the most of it in this relationship. This really is one of the secrets to keep to yourself.
13 – That you think they should lose weight
But you already knew that.
Now that you know the 13 secrets you should never reveal, maybe you could take some advice from our gay friends on how to make your relationship last. Give it a try, you might be surprised!
