The study ‘Brazil is the country of sex’, carried out by the sex shop Miess, underlines that the practice is more frequent among young Brazilian women. After all, a good sex party, it relaxes!
September 6 is Sex Day in Brazil. Created in 2008 to raise awareness about the importance of using condoms and breaking taboos in relationships, the date is always remembered on social networks. A particular observation on the subject: a large number of people simulate orgasms.
According to the survey Brasil é o País do Sexo, conducted by the sex shop Miess, 62.9% of Brazilian women tend to simulate orgasms during sex. Those who have never done it are 26.7%. This practice is more common among women aged 25 to 35 years. A survey also indicates an incidence of false orgasms that decreases with age, becoming extremely rare after age 46. According to the study, this is because maturity brings the desire for pleasure in a more visceral and sincere way.
Why do women fake orgasms?
Conducted in the United Kingdom, the Archives of Sexual Behavior survey showed an alarming result: only 35% of heterosexual women surveyed managed to cum during sex. In addition, 75% had false orgasms – a number close to that of Brazilian women.
According to Miess, several factors contribute to this situation. The main one is the difficulty to reach climax, which can take time. And, in many cases, the partner has difficulty getting the woman to climax during sex.
This is related to another justification given by the women in the study: boredom. For psychologist and sexologist Erika de Paula, the main female reason for faking orgasms is to end unsatisfying sex. “Although it is less and less common, because there is a greater priority given to female pleasure, unfortunately many women still fake it,” she says.
Among other reasons pointed out by the study are insecurity and the desire to please the partner. After all, there is a concept that sex can’t end without an orgasm. “There’s the idea of this ejaculationplete with sounds, which shows satisfying sex, and it’s not real,” explains sexologist Julia Cepeda, of the Share Your Sex platform.
Other factors discovered by the Miess survey are the difficulty of reaching orgasm and even not knowing what it is, never having reached it. According to Érika, if these difficulties are recurrent, it is recommended to call a professional to investigate the causes.
And when the partner perceives the false orgasm?
“The person is responsible for her orgasm and the other person will help her find it,” explains Érika. In this way, she points to self-knowledge so that the woman understands what satisfies her sexually. And, of course, communication with the partner.
In another bias, the study also points out that half of the men can identify when the woman simulates orgasm. Signs that help them understand include body language, lack of contractions and even sounds like moans and cries.
This can cause discomfort to the couple, leading to unnecessary fights. And when the man doesn’t realize it, it hurts the quality of the sex. “The partner doesn’t know you’re faking it, and the next time, he’ll do the same thing, and expect you to climax every time and keep faking it,” Cepeda says.
And men, do they pretend to have orgasms?
Despite the fact that the act of faking an orgasm is more common among women, those who believe that men do not do it are mistaken. According to the Miess study, 25% of men surveyed adopt the practice. Yes, men can fake it too to finish faster!
Sexologist Paula Napolitano explains that the reason is the high pressure on men to have sex – whether to always have sexual desire or to achieve orgasms.
More men experience this than you might think. Among them is 33-year-old John (not his real name), “I was always in a hurry to have an active sex life. Since I was always shy, it took me a while to start having sex and unfortunately my partners were not patient with a guy who was still learning,” he says.
For him, this impatience with first partners and the comparison to pornography were complicating factors in the beginning of their sex life. “Sex in porn shows a rather unrealistic view and that made me have a completely false view on the subject. I was anxious and apprehensive about not being the same as the actors. with a more open woman,” he reports. After he began to feel more comfortable with sexual performance, John stumbled upon another taboo: the need to reach orgasm.
“I had a partner I couldn’t have an orgasm with and she felt very uncomfortable,” he recalls.
Paula Napolitano points out that not enjoying or reaching orgasm is a taboo equivalent to teasing. As a result, many men avoid talking about it. “What makes men avoid talking about it is the accusation: ‘you don’t love me’, ‘you don’t have pleasure with me’,” explains the sexologist.
For her, this can all be solved with a good conversation – and John agrees. “I’ve noticed a fake orgasm before and it was uncomfortable. Plus, it can give the person a false sense of what I like, which will only make it worse in future relationships. I prefer to be transparent and always talk,” in conclusion.
There is also the case where men fake it to get it over with faster, out of boredom. Because if they can’t do the starfish, they can pretend that they have reached orgasm on their side.
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