The first date is always a delicate balancing act. On the one hand, you want to appear interested, attractive and seductive enough for her to know that this is a date and not a one-way ticket to the “friend zone”. On the other hand, you don’t want to reveal too much..
You don’t want her to think you’re only interested in having sex. That’s why it’s more important than ever to know exactly what to say on a first date, especially if you want to close the deal…
Of course, it’s not always easy, especially when nerves come into play and you two budding lovebirds struggle to find the right topic of conversation. But to help you say all the right things, we’ve contacted several relationship and dating experts to keep the conversation in the right place. With this, you should be on the right track.
And no matter what you say, here’s a tip before you start: the more you talk, the better. In fact, the longer the conversation goes on with a first date, the less important superficial things like height and appearance become to your potential partner. If you play your cards right – and say the right things – you’re virtually guaranteed to move into second place. Ready to be a couple?
1 – That dress looks amazing on you.
If you can feel the chemistry building, it’s important that your date knows right away that you’re attracted to her. Not only do women want to feel sexually attracted to their date, they also want to feel that their date is sexually attracted. In fact, by feeling the latter, women are more likely to feel attracted in return. So compliment her.
But how? Well, adding the phrase “about you” makes it more specific than a generic line like “you’re so pretty”. Remember: generic compliments aren’t sincere. And if you’re trying to date a colleague, you need to know another set of rules. So don’t miss the 12 rules for dating a colleague.
2 – Don’t worry. I’ll call them back later.
Cell phone use is a major problem for many users. Researchers found that 75% of singles are put off if you answer your phone at a specific time. What’s more, 66% didn’t like being interrupted on their date to answer a text message, and 41% think that simply having your phone on the table is just plain rude.
It’s a good idea to put your phone in your jacket and forget about it for the duration of the date – well, until you check your calendar to plan your next appointment. By the way, remember to take a recent model. 92% of women are more likely to judge you negatively as having an obsolete or older cell phone model.
3 – Did you hear what a certain personality said yesterday?
Ask controversial questions such as “What do you think about abortion? “or “Have you ever broken someone’s heart? “change conversations more than ordinary questions about hobbies, family and work. Of course, these standard dating topics are important – but asking a question that requires emotional attention and openness about values establishes a level of trust necessary for a deeper level of attraction.
4 – I know what you mean. It reminds me of the time when I..
Women, in particular, feel a connection with men who interrupt them, but probably not in the way you’d imagine.
Let’s be clear: cutting someone off to dominate the conversation isn’t attractive. Successful dates include exchanges in which the man cleverly interrupts the woman to say something that shows they have a shared experience.
For example, an ideal exchange would be for the woman to say something like, “I saw Radiohead last summer and they were amazing,” and for the man to say, “I’m so jealous – Radiohead is one of my favorite bands,” too, before allowing her to continue. In other words, interruptions can be a good thing, as long as they’re made to show you’re paying attention. For more great dating tips, here are 15 more ways to impress any woman.
5 – “I really want kids.” Or “Marriage is important to me.”
Knowing what you want is an attractive quality. So is being in touch with who you are and what you’re looking for. Don’t hesitate to be specific about what you want.
If you’re looking for something casual, she might be interested. If you’re hoping to settle down, don’t be afraid to tell her. Whatever your ultimate goal, it’s worth sharing to establish a deeper connection and make sure you’re both on the same page. By being clear and direct at the outset, you’ll save time and energy in the long run.
6 – On a Sunday morning, I like..
The more a guy can build a picture of his life that includes the woman, the more likely she is to be interested.
For example, saying you like to be active isn’t interesting. But if you say, “I like waking up on a Sunday morning, having a coffee and croissant at my favorite cafe, then heading to the beach with my surfboard and hitting the waves,” that gives her a really clear picture of what you mean.
Then ask a question like “Do you surf? If not, I’d love to teach you. That way, your date can decide whether what you like to do sounds interesting or not.
Statements like these are an invitation to deeper conversations, which begin to build a fuller, more inviting picture of what your life could look like. Being able to imagine what your future might look like? Totally sexy.
7 – My family is really important to me.
A quality relationship with your family – or even close friends – is certainly something you want to show on a first date.
If you have a good relationship with your family and friends, it shows that you’re capable of the reciprocity necessary for a healthy relationship.
Basically, it reinforces the idea that you’re a caring person, capable of maintaining meaningful and lasting relationships. For most women, this will be a huge advantage. It also sends a message that you know how to balance your life and are capable of having good boundaries.
A word of caution: don’t go too far in talking about your mother or any traumatic family drama you’ve experienced. The former is a turn-off, and the latter can be saved for later appointments, when you know each other better.
8 – Thank you.
Simple but true. Showing courtesy and politeness is not only a major issue, but a requirement for most women looking for their mate.
Your friendliness shouldn’t be confined to her. Be cordial with waiters, valet attendants, bartenders and anyone else you interact with during the meeting. By showing that you believe all people deserve respect, you establish that you’re a stand-up guy, i.e. – wait for it – sexy. Also be sure to check out these secrets to the best relationships.
9 – I like hiking too. We should do that together sometime.
Yes, asking for date number two – when the time is right – is sexy. For most people, it’s best to wait for an evening highlight. Once you’ve found similar interests or values, explain how you want to share this experience with her. This shows that you’re genuinely interested in continuing the relationship. This will make her more likely to accept future meetings with you. Finally, don’t wait until the end to ask – it’s much too cliché.
10 – I’m not free on Friday, but how does Saturday work for you?
This gives the illusion that you’re busy and a rare commodity. Maybe it’s supply and demand at work. But people feel special when they know your time is precious. And that you make time for them.
And while mystery is sexy, you don’t want to be a jerk. Tell them you understand that a good relationship is all about quality time. And that even though you have many important and valuable commitments, you know that to have a good relationship, time together has to be one of them. Finally, as your relationship progresses, you should always remember the 13 sexiest things you can ever say to a woman. There, now you’ve got everything you need for a successful first date!
