Mothers have always played a central role in our society. Mother’s Day, a moment of recognition and affection, pays tribute to the women who give birth and who, on a daily basis, embody the emotional pillar of many families. We celebrate their gentleness, patience and generosity. However, this traditional vision is no longer the only one in vogue today.
With the evolution of mentalities and social representations, another face of the mother has appeared in the collective imagination: that of the MILF, an acronym for “Mother I’d Like to Fuck”. While the term is shocking in its brutality, it also reveals a profound transformation: the recognition of a mother who is no longer limited to her maternal role. She can be desired, self-confident and a full player in her own sexuality.
At first glance, talking about MILFs in connection with Mother’s Day may seem inappropriate, even disrespectful. And yet, this connection tells us something about our times. It tells us that the mother is no longer seen only as an asexual figure, confined to the domestic sphere. She is also a woman, with desires, pleasures and a multiple identity. In films, TV series, pop culture and even pornography, the MILF has become an archetype in her own right, somewhere between male fantasy and female affirmation.
In the porn industry, the MILF has become a genre in its own right. Since the 2000s, she has been one of the most sought-after categories. In 2024, she ranked second worldwide on adult sites.
Why such success?
Perhaps because it represents a more mature, grounded sexuality, far removed from the clichés of adolescence or performance. Or perhaps because it embodies that blend of experience and confidence that attracts as much as it reassures.
According to Fiona Schmidt, journalist, feminist activist and author of the essay Vieille peau (éditions Belfond, 2023), which examines the sexist double standard between injunctions to age well and youthism:
“the age gap between a man and a woman has been eroticized for thousands of years, first by painting and literature, then by cinema. In the movies, the age difference between a couple on screen is around 20 years, whereas in real life, it’s 3 years.”
But recently, in the world of American romantic comedies, the trend seems, on the face of it, to be reversing, and in front of the camera, actresses are now having romantic relationships with much younger men. Since 2006, the XRCO Awards a MILF Of The Year award. Actresses such as Lisa Ann, Brandi Love, Ava Addams and Alexis Fawx have become the faces of this figure. Their popularity stems not only from their looks, but also from their ability to embody a woman who knows what she wants, who dares, who doesn’t hide.
Pornographic film actress Lisa Ann dressed as Sarah Palin at the AVN Expo in Las Vegas, January 8, 2010.
Veronica Avluv in 2012
They show that there is no age to be desired, nor to desire.
But it would be a mistake to reduce the MILF to a mere male fantasy. Behind this image, there is also a discourse of liberation. In a society that has for too long compartmentalized roles – the gentle mother versus the femme fatale – the MILF blurs the lines.
She claims the right to be complex:
- mother,
- lover,
- free,
- all at once.
On social networks, more and more women, some of them mothers, are asserting their sex appeal. They publish, they create, they expose themselves, without shame or justification. This new visibility is helping to redefine the contours of adult femininity.
Today, to celebrate mothers is perhaps to congratulate them for their tenderness, of course, but also for their courage in assuming who they are. It means telling them that they have the right to be multiple: maternal, but also light-hearted, playful and daring.
Yes, a mother can be a MILF. Not because she’s desperate to be desired, but because she refuses to let motherhood alone define her worth. She takes back control of her image, her desires, her body. And that’s probably the most beautiful message we can send her this holiday: you have the right to be entirely yourself.
