Sometimes it’s hard to initiate a sexual relationship without coming across as a heavyweight or forcing the issue. However, there are many ways to make it clear in a more or less subtle way that you want her, and above all to make her want you too.
It takes tact to encourage sex without sounding pushy, desperate or scary. You also need to be able to evoke your desire for sex without fear of being rebuffed. In short, it’s hard to be subtle when it comes to asking for sex. The best thing is to find a way to make your partner want to have sex with you.
Don’t be afraid to be a little direct
Don’t be afraid to overdo it. You can use all the romantic techniques you can think of: offer flowers, put out candles or dim the lights, set an atmosphere that lends itself to the urge to act. Be tactile: run your hands through her hair, caress her back, offer her a massage (and buy scented oils in advance). The contact will be conducive to what happens next.
You can also prepare the ground by sending him naughty messages, but be careful to keep them nuanced, and avoid the dickpic that arrives like a hair on the soup. The more you redouble your efforts to make her understand what you want, the more she’ll appreciate it. No one has ever complained about their partner trying too hard. And if you’ve read our 10 secrets to keeping your wife happy, you should have plenty more ideas.
Have fun
Sometimes, being rejected by women can make you feel less sure of yourself, and it can be difficult to make the first move. In such cases, there’s nothing like humor to lighten things up a bit. Don’t take things too seriously, just have fun. This will help you defuse the situation by taking your mind off the fear of being rejected again.
Start by being funny, making a game of it, making her laugh, joking and then tickling her until the moment takes a different turn and puts sexier ideas in her head. You can also distract from things that are too serious by adding a little humor. When you send a photo of yourself, instead of trying to be as handsome as possible, play the humor card and send a photo in a funny setting, even if it’s a sexy photo. Be creative and show your funniest side; surprise her. Laughter can be sexy too, so make the most of it.
Verbalize
It’s said that one of the many differences between men and women is that men are more visual and women more auditory. So take the opportunity to verbally express your desires. There’s no substitute for touch to launch foreplay, but a little verbal exchange is sure to get your partner excited, and make her want to see if your skills are as good as your eloquence. To do this, you’ll need to know how to handle words delicately.
Start with a rather literary register, exchange points of view, show your culture and your ability to think. Make her fall in love with your intelligence first, then take the conversation to a more personal level. Talk about what you like, your desires and how you could do more intimate things together, get her to project herself into a sexual relationship with you.
You can do this face-to-face, whispering things in her ear, or through increasingly hot text messages. Build up desire gradually. Here again, avoid being too brutal and recognize the right moment to shift the conversation towards something more personal. You risk scaring her off if you go too fast. If you’ve been in a relationship for longer, this kind of text message will give you the temperature of the evening ahead and will have the merit of making your desires clear and, why not, initiating a sexual encounter. It’s also relatively easier to talk about the little things that turn you on about her than to ask for sex out of the blue.
Come on, cheer up!
It can sometimes take a lot of guts to dare to explain your desires. The fear of rejection is always present in one way or another when you expose yourself in this way. Nevertheless, if you’re not explicit enough, you’ll find it hard to get satisfaction. So go ahead and get into the habit of simply admitting that you’re horny. Never let yourself be discouraged by the number of rejections you may receive. There are periods in a couple’s life when the desire is less present. This is often temporary, so keep letting your partner know that you want her. Ask her what time of day is most conducive to her arousal, what you could do to please her or make her want you, suggest new things to try… in short, get the ball rolling.
In the end, you’ll be sexiest when you show her how much you like her and how much she excites you. But whatever you do, remember to respect her consent. It’s always a bad idea to force her in the hope that the urge will come.
