Is it just in your head, or does she seem less enthusiastic about having sex with you lately? We always say that communication is a key element of a good sex life – in fact, it’s perhaps the most important element, because a woman who’s dissatisfied in bed is like a ticking time bomb…
If you ask your wife or girlfriend directly about her waning sexual appetite, she may feel obliged to protect your feelings by insisting that everything is fine, when in fact she finds your sexual routine boring. There are telltale signs that she hasn’t been feeling impressed with you lately, that she may be dissatisfied in bed than she could be. If these 10 occurrences start to seem strangely familiar, she may be unsatisfied, which means it’s time to change your habits.
1 – Always making excuses
Everyone goes through periods when they don’t feel sexually stimulated. This could be linked to a number of factors: stress at work, lack of self-confidence, hormonal change, depression or just plain exhaustion. But the sobering truth could be that she’s no longer satisfied with what you’re offering. Do some thorough research and eliminate these other reasons, then focus on changing your attitude – perhaps by mastering the 25 tricks that will transform you into a sex godovernight.
2 – She doesn’t care if she doesn’t have an orgasm
Statistics show that women need about 20 minutes of sexual activity to reach their climax, on average. If she doesn’t think an orgasm is worth 20 minutes of sex with you, she may stop doing the mental work required to enable her to reach that climax. Alternatively, she may simply think you can’t afford to make things happen for her. If she seems nonchalant about a recent session of sex, it could be a sign of her apathy towards your current repertoire. It’s time to make some changes. You can start by learning all the mistakes you make during cunnilingus.
3 – She masturbates instead of having sex with you
Only a fool would have a problem with their partner masturbating. For starters, a woman who knows her way around is going to have a lot of information to share about how you can please her. That’s information you can use. But realizing that she’d much rather practice onanism than have sex with you is news that can hurt the ego. So she’s dissatisfied in bed.
Ask if you can watch and if she can use your hand to show you what feels good. If she masturbates to porn, ask her to show you some of the clips she likes and tell you what she likes about them. In fact, watching porn with her is one of the ways smart men stop a story before it starts.
4 – She criticizes you in other areas
Although she may not want to discuss your performance to protect your feelings, she could end up criticizing other things about you by proxy. Maybe she’ll notice your appearance, your behavior or whether you’re doing your share of household chores properly. These little things that used to bother her wouldn’t seem so bad if you stepped back, took control of the situation and started giving your best performance regularly.
5 – She takes control in the bedroom
When a woman knows what she wants and likes in the bedroom, that’s a very, very good thing. However, if she starts micromanaging your movements, it could be a sign that you’re not listening to her body and she’s not feeling satisfied. A little guidance is good, but if you start to feel like she’s constantly teaching you to have sex with her, you’re probably on the wrong track. However, if you find yourself in a reverse position, so to speak (you find yourself less satisfied), learn to turn your wife into a sex goddess.
6 – She checks things out mentally
At its best, sex is an activity in which there is no past or future. There are only the thoughts, emotions and sensations running through your nervous system at the precise moment. This should never happen as long as you’re thinking about the mundanities of life or the ever-growing “to-do” list in your head. If you sometimes feel that she’s not present when you’re having sex, it could be that your skills aren’t taking up enough of her mental, sensual and emotional bandwidth.
7 – She mentions the neighbors’ great sex
If she’s regularly telling you about the sex between David and Lisa, you’ll probably need to rethink your copy. Hell, why not take David out for a beer and ask him for advice? Your goal: get your partner to repeat how incredible you make her feel. And forget that she’s unfulfilled in bed.
8 – She keeps a wedge between you
If someone isn’t meeting their partner’s sexual needs, they may resort to masturbation (see above) or an affair. They may, however, try to fulfill themselves in another way that might not even be directly related to sex. Some people may consume food or alcohol, bury themselves in work or go shopping. Clues that she’s not feeling fulfilled may be hidden in your refrigerator, wine cellar or credit card account. If you suspect she’s not satisfied enough to pursue an affair, you should learn the 15 warning signs that a woman is cheating on you.
9 – She wants to get it over with
Good sex is like eating a delicious dinner in an expensive restaurant. You want to savor the flavors, enjoy the ambiance and linger at the table. If she did the sexual equivalent of eating fast and settling the bill quickly, chances are she wouldn’t experience three Michelin stars. Women and men can both like quickies, but if she gives the impression of wanting to be somewhere else every time as if she had somewhere better to be, she probably will.
10 – She doesn’t want to cuddle
If you make a woman feel satisfied during sex, she’ll want to be close to you when she falls asleep, or she’ll anticipate your next round. If, however, you’ve recorded another performance that she found dull, even frustrating, she won’t want to snuggle up to you. A big sign that she’s dissatisfied in bed! If she rolls over as soon as your session is over, you’ll probably need to rethink your technique.
And if you find yourself alone, don’t panic, another one will come along to keep you company…
