Polyamory is a concept that is increasingly coming to the fore. Some people are confused by it, while others understand it perfectly, even when they’re not directly involved. What is already clear is that polyamory banishes the notion of exclusivity within the couple, offering a different perspective to traditional monogamous relationships. In this article, you’ll discover the foundations of polyamory, the principles on which the concept is based and its concrete manifestation in the lives of those who choose it.
Definition of polyamory
First of all, polyamory suggests loving 2 or more people at the same time. These people then have to know about it, and take part in establishing a loving relationship together. Examples of polyamory include triads and quads: love relationships involving 3 and 4 people respectively. There’s also the Vee, where one person is in a relationship with two others who are not in love at all.
Finally, there’s the polyculus, a sort of network of interconnected love relationships. To better identify the connections between the people involved, we often resort to rather complex diagrams. It’s important to note that polyamory applies to every sexual orientation known today.
The foundations of polyamory
Dialogue and consent
Dialogue is the cornerstone of polyamory, as it enables the people involved to say without apprehension what they foresee for the smooth running of their relationship. They can also talk about their limits and fears, which will help to tailor the polyamorous framework.
The dialogue must be ongoing and evolving, to adapt to the ups and downs that all dynamic relationships experience. Consent must also reign supreme for a polyamorous relationship to shine. In concrete terms, all parties must clearly accept the interview relationship and participate in its optimal functioning.
Honesty and mutual respect
Honesty is also an important factor in polyamory. It helps to create and maintain an atmosphere of trust between all parties involved in the relationship. In practice, being honest sometimes means saying what you think, even when you know it will be difficult for your partner to accept. The strength and longevity of relationships depend on it.
While honesty is essential, mutual respect is no less important to the smooth running of a polyamorous relationship. Indeed, the relationship between all those involved must be tinged with politeness and high regard. Here, we’re talking about :
- consider each person’s emotions and other commitments;
- offering each person his or her own personal space;
- saying what you disagree with tactfully…
Optimal management of jealousies
Although polyamory is based on each partner’s acceptance of having one or more other people involved in their love relationship, there may be times when jealousy overrides this principle. In such cases, a constructive approach is called for. Clearly, the person concerned must :
- work realistically on their emotional defense methods;
- talk about what they’re experiencing, without holding it against others;
- look deep inside themselves for the causes of such an emotion.
This will help to clear up all kinds of disputes, so that you can finally enjoy a fulfilling polyamorous relationship.
Polyamory in France
Social conception and legal realities
More and more French people know what polyamour actually means. Better still, many of them give meaning to this logic. However, there are still a few pockets of conservative resistance that misuse and stigmatize the concept. When it comes to legislation, polyamour also faces a problem of recognition. French law does not take into account the number of people involved in a relationship when ruling on issues such as social security, inheritance or child custody.
In spite of all these obstacles, there is a polyamorous community in France that is giving its voice to the understanding and acceptance of its members’ choice. It does so through such frameworks as :
- meetings to educate and share on the issue ;
- thematic events ;
- discussion forums…
We can thus deduce that the integration of polyamory into French mores is underway. This could foster a more inclusive social environment, in which the different concepts of love are fully recognized and respected.
Mental health in polyamory
Polyamory has a major influence on the mental state of those involved. Indeed, as with all dynamic relationships, this love logic can offer advantages, but also generate challenges in terms of mental health. One of the most notable advantages is the possibility of creating several intimate connections. This, in turn, creates a wider network of emotional support. In polyamory, individual growth and personal autonomy are also encouraged, giving people the latitude to discover their deepest desires.
In terms of mental health challenges, we can first point to the fact that the plural nature of relationships often generates anxiety and stress for some players. Secondly, they are likely to be subject to misunderstanding and social stigma. This can impact on their self-esteem, and hence their mental well-being. So polyamorous people need to be highly skilled at resolving conflicts through communication. They also need to accept that jealousy can often surface, but above all they need to be able to manage these phases with dexterity. Finally, the help of a professional in the field will considerably help polyamorous people to understand the special nature of their relationship. The result will be the implementation of strategies to create a perfect mental balance.
In conclusion, polyamory has undeniably gained in visibility in recent years. However, it would be counterproductive to leave things as they are, for fear of seeing the efforts made to reach such a level reduced to nothing. The role of society as a whole, and in particular of those directly involved in the practice, is therefore to popularize the concept as much as possible, while presenting it in the best possible light.
