What is fetishism ? In a nutshell, it‘s the use of a physical object (the fetish) as a means of arousal.There are some very common ones, such as feet, stockings or hair, and some more unusual ones, such as flutes, gas masks ,handicapped people and others. In short, the world of fetishes offers a wide range of possibilities.
If certain objects stimulate you more than others, and give you a hard-on like a donkey, chances are you have one or more fetishes. Don’t worry, fetishes are more or less present in all of us.
What is fetishism ?
Fetishism is classified as a sexual preference disorder in the International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems. You’ll find it sandwiched between sadomasochism and exhibitionism.
Its particularity is that the fetishist attaches himself to a specific part of the other person’s body. But it can also be a physical or intellectual quality, and the psyche can also provoke an attraction. And there’s often an attraction to inanimate objects, from a simple shoe to a filthy ashtray, or worse. But clothing is often the preferred attraction.
Although fetishism is not necessarily erotic in origin, today we call it fetishism for the sexual practices that result from this adoration.
What are the most common fetishes ?
If you want to know if your fetish is fairly common, just type its name into Google and the number of forums on the subject will give you an idea of the answer. And if you’re using the Dark Net, it’s probably illegal, so we won’t talk about it!
In the meantime, here are the objects most commonly used to stimulate sexual arousal:
- breast, nose, hands, braids ;
- hair color, body size, infirmity, smell;
- handkerchiefs, shoes, nightcaps, mourning pancakes;
- feet, mouth, uniform, etc. ;
- a type of material: leather, latex or fur.
These objects would, by association, awaken powerful representations of the personality and accentuate the power of the sensation of sexual pleasure experienced. Of course, this list is by no means exhaustive.
What are the origins of fetishism ?
You may be surprised to learn that the word “fetish” comes from… From the Portuguese feitiço. It means artificial, bewitchment, spell. And this meaning takes on its full meaning when you consider the power of attraction of a fetish in a sexual relationship.
It was in the 18th century that the word “fetishism” made its appearance in the French language. De Brosses fought for recognition of his fascination with objects venerated by African peoples, known as fetishes, and coined the term to describe their cult:
“ I ask thatI be allowed to make habitual use of this expression, and though in its proper meaning, it refers particularly to the belief of theNegroesofAfrica.Iwarn that I also intend to use it when speaking of any other nation where the objects of worship are animals or inanimatebeingsthatare divinized;even when speaking sometimes of certain peoples for whom objects of thiskind are less gods as such, than thingsendowedwithdivine virtue, oracles, amulets and protective talismans “.
At the beginning of the 20th century, its meaning changed. Once associated with followers of primitive religions, fetishism became a modern perversion. It takes on the image of a sexual aberration. A meaning that appeals, since it quickly erases the old definition. This illustrates a real semantic need in the field, for although this penchant had long been known, it had no specific name.
Long considered a sexual perversion, fetishism is now referred to as paraphilia. A term that corresponds to an uncommon sexual orientation, outside the usual pattern of sexuality. Sadomasochism, transvestism and candaulism are other forms of paraphilia. While most paraphiliac practices are more or less accepted, others are considered deviant, or even punishable by law: such is the case with voyeurism and frotteurism (taking pleasure from rubbing up against strangers without their consent).
Are we all fetishists?
When it comes to love, yes, we all are, more or less. Where we need to question ourselves is when this need becomes pathological and therefore obsessive. We can speak of a pathologist when a specific detail predominates, obliterating all others. The only difference between fetishists and non-fetishists would then be the degree of acceptance of the famous fetish in our society.
Max Dessoir says: “Normal love seems to us like a symphony composed of all kinds of sounds. It results from the most diverse excitations. It is, so to speak, polytheistic. The fetishist knows only the timbre of a single instrument; it is constituted by a determined excitation, it is monotheistic”.
To be more precise, you need to validate these criteria to talk about fetishism:
- the fixity of the fetishized trait: we keep this predilection for life;
- the irresistibility of the impulse;
- the exclusive nature of the object in sexual gratification, to the detriment of its totality.
And it’s treatable ?
According to many psychiatrists, fetishism is rooted in childhood. It would seem that events experienced as a child play a major role in its creation, particularly between the ages of 4 and 6. This is when the first sexual aberrations appear.
The partner may also feel frustrated by the fetish, not feeling fully loved. This can also cause weariness in the other person, as fetishists often have a whole ritual to put in place to achieve orgasm.
Lastly, treatments for this kind of behavior are often not very effective. However, psychiatric treatment, psychotherapy and cognitive therapy are possible. You’ll need to consult your GP beforehand.
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