Don’t let your age follow you into the bedroom! The traditional story of sex after 40 often has a nostalgic side. Your metabolism slows down. Your knees start to creak. Your mojo has gone from a roar to a purr. But just because a certain reality is linked to the natural wear and tear of an aging body doesn’t mean your days are doomed.
To keep the light shining in your sex life, it has less to do with what you do during those 30, 20 or 4 minutes than with the rest of the day. Which means you can improve the quality of your bedroom lovemaking when you’re least likely to be thinking about it.
1 – Exercise
Sexual function is controlled in part by the quality of blood flow to your organs. Vigorous cardiovascular exercise – think at least three or four times a week with a heart rate accelerated to the point of making you breathe hard – will prime your pumps.
Because blood circulation is essential to the functioning of the sexual organs, anything you can do to improve your heart health will improve your sex life. 2 hours of vigorous exercise a week improves sexual function, so get active!
2 – Manage your finances
Financial stress – the number one cause of relationship problems – is linked to many health problems. So when couples have money problems, it usually means they have problems in the bedroom too. Especially for couples with long-standing tensions, resolving financial stress can be a complex process. But the first step to resolving it? Schedule a financial meeting once a month between the two of you. The simple act of talking – even if you don’t always agree – gets things moving in the right direction.
3 – Say yes to yellowfin tuna
One of your greatest dietary allies: healthy fats, like those found in fish and nuts. They’ll help reduce inflammation, blood pressure and your bad cholesterol. When they change, they can help improve sexual function.
4 – Break the routine
There’s something to be said for relationship predictability. We take comfort in knowing that Fridays are for movies, that one of you will cook and one of you will clean, or that you’ll both despise the same series.
But long-standing couples need to find a way to blur the rhythm of their lives: new outings, new restaurants, new couples to hook up with. The more recent the activity, the more the feel-good chemical dopaminergic is increased. This will give your sex life a boost.
5 – Think sexonomy
Small gestures, invested early and often, earn compound interest. But you can’t make reserves every day! You have to ride the wave of good times and bad, and building trust in the process of stable investments will strengthen your relationships.
6 – Lift weights twice a week
Resistance exercises will not only help change your body weight and shape (both of which will have physical and psychological benefits), but they’ll also increase your testosterone levels.
Testosterone is the key libido hormone in both men and women. Resistance exercises help increase muscle mass, which in turn improves testosterone. No access to dumbbells? A routine of cardio exercises is recommended: push-ups, squats and lunges will work.
7 – Make chili
And add lots of hot peppers. Spicy foods boost testosterone. And your sex life will be more olé olé!
8 – Create a new ritual that becomes yours
The one that fosters partnership: foot massages every Sunday evening. Cooking every Thursday. A challenging hike on the first weekend of the month. Find your thing!
9 – Remember the hierarchy of compliments
What you say counts.
When you say it, it counts even more.
How you say it matters most.
10 – Remember the bedroom hierarchy
What you do matters.
When you do, it matters more.
How you do it matters even more.
11 – Remember the hierarchy of desire
Your appearance counts.
How you act matters more.
How you treat yourself – every day – matters most.
12 – Add more garlic
Cloves have been shown to have beneficial effects on degreasing arteries. Garlic is also very good for your health, so don’t deprive yourself.
13 – Boost your vitamin B levels
One study found a correlation between low levels of sexual function and low levels of folic acid. Eat foods containing folate (vitamin B9): dark leafy vegetables, citrus fruits and beans.
14 – Buy apples
Apparently, women who regularly ate apples had higher levels of sexual function. Speculation is that apples contain compounds like antioxidants that improve blood flow (and therefore arousal).
15 – Have verbal sex
A British study on sexual satisfaction found that people felt less satisfaction if they couldn’t talk openly about sex with their partner.
16 – More body language
Contemplate your partner’s body parts – and not just those associated with sexuality. There’s a correlation between lower body image and sexual satisfaction. So keep this in mind: greater insecurity means more inhibition.
17 – Deconstruct the architecture of sex
The plan: your actions, your heart.
The foundations: your words, your ears.
The decoration: your kisses, your touches.
18 – Drink red
An Italian study found that those who drank one or two glasses of red wine a day had higher levels of sexual satisfaction, and another study found that red wine drinkers had 30% lower levels of impotence.
19 – Lose a few pounds
Weight is directly linked to sexual function. The higher it is, the more problems you’ll have with dysfunction. Lose weight, think about your sex life.
20 – Get back in the saddle
One study found lower satisfaction among couples who had sex less than four times in the past four weeks. It’s not that quantity means quality, but you have to have some quantity to have more quality.
21 – Do yoga
A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that yoga helped improve sexual dysfunction and enhance libido. Other benefits of practicing certain poses include improved breathing and control, as well as greater flexibility.
22 – Be the “wake-up” button
Learn that the best time of day to have sex is the opposite of when many couples have sex. Indeed, 7:30 a.m. seems to be ideal.
Find out more about our tips for sex after 40…
