Lesbians make you fantasize. You see them in the street and you imagine them in your bed, with you participating or watching them having sex. But you don’t know how to approach them. You don’t ask just any questions to a lesbian!
Photo Anna Shvets
It’s easy to talk to a lesbian, whether in a public place or in a video chat. But that doesn’t stop you from being afraid of making a mistake by asking the wrong questions and thus offending her. Especially if your curiosity leads you to imagine a threesome or to feed any other fantasy. It would be a shame to let the “beast” escape, wouldn’t it?
Being a lesbian is a sexual orientation that you don’t choose. Just like you didn’t choose to be straight. So no, it’s not a phase and no, it’s not related to a bad ex-boyfriend. Not all lesbians are virgins either. And yes, you can be very feminine and be a lesbian. A lesbian couple can even be composed of two very feminine women. There is not obligatorily one of the two which makes the man. So much for the basic questions.
But you want to know more, to know some details, I understand it completely. You may wonder how these things work, especially in intimacy. So, since it’s tricky to ask that, I’ll go over with you the 10 questions you’ve always wanted to ask a lesbian. Here we go.
1- Why are some women attracted to women?
Experts in various fields estimate that 10% of the world’s population is LGBT, and to date, no one has come to a definitive conclusion as to why. Leaving all the theories aside, I will answer the question in the most organic way possible, but in the end.
2- What do women have that men don’t?
The question is not what one lacks or what the other lacks in excess. There are many physical, hormonal and behavioral differences between men and women. Fortunately, we are free to be with the one we are most attracted to and enjoy.
3- Why are some lesbians feminine and others masculine?
It’s a matter of style and personality, and it doesn’t necessarily reflect their behavior in bed. Within four walls, as long as there is a consensus between the two parties, anything goes.
The very masculine women are nicknamed “butch”. The most feminine are called “lipstick lesbians”. There is also the lesbian chapstick which is between a butch, a woman and a lesbian boi. A Boi lesbian, as the name suggests, often has a rather childish appearance. And finally, you have the activist. There you go, you’ve expanded your knowledge of LGBT vocabulary.
Photo Anna Shvets
4- Are women easier to deal with than men?
Definitely not! Human beings are complex, and therefore extremely interesting. The fact that two women have a lot in common is not, in itself, a catalyst. We have dreams, desires, ambitions, bridges, jealousies … to deal with!
To be easy to live with or not is not a question of sex, contrary to the clichés which are still conveyed nowadays. It’s 50/50 for both men and women. As they say, the grass is not greener elsewhere. The same problems are found on both sides of the fence.
5- What do lesbian friends talk about?
Work, family, politics, love, economy, travel, sports, fashion, TV shows, sex and women! Not necessarily in that order. Just like everyone else. Why is that? You thought they were talking about sex all day?
6- Are there “passive” and “active” lesbians?
Not always. Everyone has a bedding preference, which may be narrower or wider. There are, yes, people who are more turned on by being passive and submissive, and others who feel more turned on by being more active in bed. However, it is common for these roles to alternate. There is no rule
7- Is there anything missing?
No. Not a dick is missing. But anyone who wants to can use a sextoy. And there is a special feature among those who enjoy the accessory: whether it is a dildo (artificial penis) or a strap-on (artificial penis strap), in addition to the mandatory hygiene with the intimate toy between sexual encounters, the use of a condom is important for disease prevention. It is common for the accessory to be discarded at the end of a relationship because it ends up being a very intimate memento of the ex.
8- Is the kiss softer?
That’s yes. Which is not to say that all women are good kissers. Kissing is attraction, desire and, above all, connection.
9- Is sex more affectionate?
Not necessarily. Women make love, but they also fuck. With or without accessories. With two or more. But it is not because they are lesbians that they necessarily multiply the partners or are unfaithful. Some are for monogamy. Maybe more often than among gays.
10- Is it common to have three-way sex (three women in bed)?
I have many friends who have done threesomes. But it’s not for everyone. As I said above, just because a woman is a lesbian doesn’t mean she has a totally unbridled sex life. It is above all a question of personality and character.
Returning to the question at the beginning, “Why are some women attracted to women?”, I could turn it around and address it to heterosexual women. Why are they interested in men? The conclusions would be different. In addition to each answering about the specific type of man that arouses the most desire and admiration, reasons such as manner, fragrance, intelligence, pectorals or buttocks, charm in the walk, insight, voice … Women who are attracted to women, this logic is the same.
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