Let’s concentrate on transgender women in this article, purely for the sake of brevity and clarity. The subject is so vast that we must try to keep it simple. Besides, we’re here for one thing: disproving myths is one of the things skeptics should be doing, right?
Ok then..
1. Trans women are justvery,very,VERYgay
This myth is impressively persistent and incredibly common. Yet the truth is quite simple: gender identity and sexual orientation have nothing to do with each other. A fairly common saying used to resolve this misunderstanding is: „sexual orientation is about who you want to go to bed with, gender identity is about how you want to go to bed“.
For my part, I prefer to address this issue by simply pointing out the existence of trans lesbians (i.e. trans women who are attracted to other women). Problem solved.
Or so I hope.
I think a lot of this confusion stems from the fact that we strongly associate behavior with gender.
The cultural assumption of heterosexuality is so intrinsic that we see homosexuals as questioning what it is to be a man. They are considered feminine or transgender simply because they engage in a mode of sexuality that is more common among women than men, even though many homosexuals express themselves in an almost hyper-masculine way.
This misconception is amplified by the excessive importance we place on sex and sexuality when thinking about gender and its meaning, so that we end up associating any expression of gender with sexuality. For example, the widespread idea among men that women dress elegantly, stylishly or sensually primarily to attract men, rather than simply as an expression of their own identity and feelings of the day.
This myth is detrimental to both trans women and gay men. It often leads to transgender issues being overlooked or subcontracted into broader discussions of LGBTQ issues.
Short answer: sex/gender and sexuality have no deterministic relationship with each other. That’s why there are gay, lesbian and bisexual people, to begin with.
2. “ So you’re going to cut off your penis? „
Another striking example. In short, no. That’s not how it works.
I hope I’m not overdoing it for you, but I’m going to give you a very brief and basic explanation of one of the most common forms of MtF genital surgery (aka CRS, sexual reassignment surgery, aka CRG, genital reconstruction surgery, aka vaginoplasty), using the „inversion method“. The penis is essentially divided into three parts. The tip is separated from the larger part of the shaft to be formed into a clitoris. The skin of the shaft is removed and the shaft itself is separated down the middle. It is then inverted into a vaginal canal, so that the outer circumference of the shaft serves as a vaginal lining. This preserves sensations during penetrative sex and allows a degree of natural lubrication during arousal.
The testicles are effectively discarded, but they are virtually the only piece of tissue that is not used. Scrotal tissue is used to form the external labia and create the aesthetic appearance of a typical female vulva. The remaining tissue and skin are used to form a clitoral hood and add extra depth to the vaginal canal if required.
The procedure is remarkably effective and has evolved considerably over the decades.
Today, transgender women are able to preserve considerable sensitivity (often with no reported loss of sensation), and many report increased sexual satisfaction and the ability to reach orgasm intact. The outward appearance is virtually indifferent to that of any other woman’s vulva. The only two things that are generally noticed are that if your partner is particularly gifted, they may notice a slight lack of depth, and that the vaginal canal is generally a little stiffer than that of cis women, although this can be avoided by trans women who take care to exercise correct technique when dilating (a necessary process to ensure that the vaginal canal doesn’t close).
There are two things I find particularly troubling about this misconception, or even a simple joke about „cutting your dick off“. The first is the reinforcement of the classic misogynist myth that women are incomplete men. Women are men minus certain parts. Female genitalia are just the absence of male genitalia. Castration fear, penis envy, blah blah blah, etc. Clearly, this isn’t true. Women are their own sex, not just inferior men. So why should we assume that acquiring girl parts is as simple as cutting off boy parts?
The other problem is that it reinforces the image of transgender women as mutilated, genderless Barbie dolls. It reinforces the idea that we simply get rid of our gender rather than create a new one. It is reductive, and imagines that our new state is „less“ than our previous one. It reinforces the feeling that we have made ourselves inferior by sacrificing our masculinity. The reality is that transition is not a desexualization of the body, it’s a re-sexualization of the body. Our genitalia are not discarded, they are simply reshaped.
3. So you’ve chosen to under go sex reassignment surgery?
The CRS is not what changes our sex. It’s only a small part of the puzzle. And many transgender women choose not to, or can’t, have CRS. A woman isn’t defined by what’s between her legs.
I blame this myth largely on the media, which tends to trivialize this kind of process, which can be quite painful both physically and psychologically.
4. „It’s a trap“ /Transgenderwomen are just gays trying to attract straight men
See above that transgender women aren’t gay. But this one turns out to be deeper, meaner, more degrading and more dangerous. So dangerous that many transgender women have lost their lives to sexual partners who felt „cheated“.
The concept of „deception“ is vast, and it can be very tricky to assess the different ethical dimensions of disclosure and determine where a transgender person’s responsibility lies in terms of informing their partner. It’s too broad a topic to go into here.
The problematic implications of transgender women being considered „traps“ are a little too numerous to mention. Among those that come to mind are the basic assumption that we are men in „truth“, the belief that our decisions revolve around you and that we do so because of you rather than for our own good (such as the previous example of how men may interpret the way a woman dresses), the problems of confusing gender expression with sexual motivations, the concept that femininity and womanhood are artificial and false, etc.
5. Aren‚t you reinforcing stereotyped roles for men and women? Aren‚t you assuming that to have a feminine personality , you have to be a woman? Doesn’t this perpetuate the idea that there are different ways of being for women and men?
Just as the existence of transgender lesbians helps us disprove the myth of the „very, very gay“, in this case, we can point to the existence of transgender masculine women and shoe girls. Ta da! The myth disappears in a breath of logic. But to explain further…
It’s a very basic confusion: the lack of understanding of the difference between gender identity and gender expression.
Gender identity is an internal sense of self and of who a person fundamentally is. It is the perception of being male or female (or both, or neither, in between, or other). It is dissociated from concepts of what a man or woman should or shouldn’t be, and seems to be quite innate and unchangeable. It also seems to be linked to the neurological „body map“ and the relationship with one’s body – feelings of comfort and alienation.
Gender expression is the degree to which a person’s personality, interests and mode of expression are culturally considered „masculine“ or „feminine“ (or „androgynous“).
This is a strong cultural and social mediation. What is considered feminine in one culture may be considered masculine in another. It seems that certain gender traits are innate to varying degrees in an individual, but gender expression is an aggregate of very many gender traits that can occur in an enormous variety of combinations.
What makes a person transgender and motivates them to pursue a physical transition is usually a gender identity conflict with their assigned physical sex. It’s not a gender expression or role conflict with the assigned physical sex. They don’t transition because they think they’re too feminine to be a man, or that the presence of feminine characteristics means they must be a woman. The motivation is much deeper and much less analytical than that. Transgender women transition simply because they know themselves as women… regardless of whether or not they fit female stereotypes.
They’re simply looking for their bodies to conform to their own sense of belonging, so they can feel like they’re their own, rather than some weird, disgusting, scary thing that happens to be stuck to them.
In the next post, I’ll tackle the end of the 13 myths and misconceptions about trans women that you may have heard before you got interested in the subject, so … Stay tuned!
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